Pelvic exams

I've never gone to the gynecologist and I've never have a oelvic exam done.I don't use tampobs abd I don't have any sexual intercourse.Now I have pain,soreness, pressure and tingling in my vulva and I am scared to death to seek help.Can you refuse a pelvic exam? I am in so much pain and I am scared that my symptoms became worse. My cl*t is sensitive and painful to the slightest touch. Are there any alternatives to the pelvic exams?