I’m 20F and my ex is 21M. We were together for around a year, but it was pretty on-and-off. We had a lot of problems, mostly because I had trust issues and would question him a lot. I know I played a part in the relationship becoming exhausting.

Before me, he had an ex who cheated on him. Their relationship was also on and off, but apparently when she finally decided to leave, he begged her to stay and wanted her back. That’s something I’ve struggled with a lot because when I was the one begging him not to leave, he eventually just let me go.

He also used to talk about how his first relationship had this really intense beginning, like a huge dopamine rush/high, and sometimes I wonder if that meant he was more attached to her than he ever was to me. With me, though, he did come back multiple times after breakups, so I obviously started believing that maybe things would eventually work out.

A few days before everything finally ended, he was still telling me things like “pyaar toh karta tha yr” and that if his feelings were completely gone, he wouldn’t still message me or ask about me. He also said he wasn’t happy and wished he could be at peace. Then everything changed.

We finally broke up on July 24. He said he had lost his feelings and wasn’t going to come back. I begged him, but he still let me go. Later he told me he had made a Bumble account and was talking to people, even saying “I made an account on Bumble and I'm talking to a few people, is this enough for you or should I tell you more?” That obviously hurts like hell.

Then about 12 days ago, he actually texted me himself and said that he hadn't downloaded Bumble. That confused me even more because I had already heard the opposite from him before. We talked a little, but nothing really got resolved.

After that, there was another conversation where he basically told me he was selfish, had a lot of ego, cared mainly about his own life, and that I should find my peace without him. I eventually stopped contacting him.

Then he contacted me again about my college admission/document verification. I told him I had cancelled the admission. After that, he blocked me, and I blocked him back. So now we're completely no contact.

What messes with my head is that he fought so hard for his ex but eventually let me go without doing the same for me. I know relationships can bring out different sides of people, but it still makes me wonder whether he loved her more or whether I just meant less to him.

It’s been 12 days of no contact now and I’m trying really hard not to reach out again. I guess I just want an outside perspective on whether someone begging one person to stay but not fighting for another actually means they loved the first person more.

Struggling to move on!