Got burned on a 1940s Harris Tweed overcoat. Why is second-hand selling getting so toxic, and how do we actually fix this

I need to vent a bit, but I also genuinely want to ask this sub how are you all dealing with second hand buyers lately?

Last month, I listed a beautiful 1940s heavy wool Harris Tweed overcoat. Incredible shape, no moth holes, pristine lining. I priced it fairly because I just wanted it to go to someone who would appreciate classic tailoring.

A buyer messaged me, asked a dozen hyper-specific questions about chest measurements and shoulder structure (fair enough, we’re all fit nerds here), and offered slightly under asking. I accepted. Wrapped it carefully, shipped it out immediately.

Three days after it arrived, the nightmare started.

First, he messaged saying the sleeve length was "half an inch off" from what I measured (even though I sent photos of the tape measure on the garment). Then, he claimed there was "a weird vintage smell" and demanded a 50% partial refund or else he’d open a buyer protection dispute and claim it was counterfeit/damaged.

When I refused the partial refund and offered a full return if he shipped it back, he suddenly changed his story, said he already dry-cleaned it, and opened a dispute anyway. The platform auto-sided with him, held my funds, and left me fighting customer support for two weeks.

This isn't the first time this year, either. It feels like every third buyer on eBay or vinted now is either:

1. A serial partial-refund fisher who nitpicks invisible "defects" to get 30-50% off after delivery.
2. Someone who treats sellers like a free rental service for an event, then force-returns the item worn.
3. Flakers who lock up your listing with accepted offers and never pay.

It's reaching a point where honest sellers who just want to trade vintage tweed, drape-cut suits, and classic menswear are getting pushed out because buyer-protection policies have turned into a buyer-exploit tool.

So my question to the sub is: Is there any actual solution to this? Are people moving to private trade groups, escrow services, or strict "as-is" consignment platforms? How do we build a ecosystem where buyers can't hold sellers hostage over half-an-inch of fabric?

Would love to hear if you guys have found safer ways to trade or if we’re all just stuck playing roulette on the major apps.