I need help in leaving my partner toxic relationship

Me F36 wants to leave my partner M43 of 10 years.

The relationship has had a lot of issues mostly coming from him he is a really strange person really great family man to everyone on the outside and completely different at home sometimes. Example holds the gate open for me when I’m outside the house talks to me like “woman get me a beer” and more inside. He completely disregards my feelings goes fishing a lot and won’t talk to me about things without turning it back around on me. Examples he left me alone after surgery to go fishing he argued with me the day of my mother’s funeral because he thought phoning his mate and organising a fishing trip was appropriate. He stomps all over my feelings all the time and makes me feel worthless. He has you no what to me on 3 occasions when he has been drunk and high to the point he turned round after and said you didn’t want that did you as I sat next to him crying then just went to sleep. He stopped me from seeing my friends by making me feel bad and gaslighted me to the point I have snapped. He got me pregnant and a miscarried and he wouldn’t let me use condoms because he didn’t like them I couldn’t use birth control but he also said he doesn’t want another baby has a child with someone else previously who I found out also went through a lot of this.

He try’s to make out he is this perfect innocent guy and people buy it. It used to freak me out how calm he was around everyone else and then how different he was at home. The annoying thing is he so good about the house makes dinner makes me some tea will give me lifts etc. I think that’s why I have stayed so long in the hope this was the real him. But my gut has constantly been telling me to run and right now I think I have been abused and gaslighted to point I don’t even know my own mind. And I’m mad I let it get to this stage. I did try to leave when I picked up on this earlier in the relationship but my mother convinced me to go back with him and he pretty much stalked and love bombed me till I did.

I want happiness but I now no longer have a support network. I work but I don’t earn much money I have a dog he owns the house my mum is dead I’m not close to my dad my sister has her family and seems very distant I did tell her about some of this before and she told me to go to woman’s aid but didn’t offer me help so I don’t want to bother her. I moved out of my hometown with him. The only thing I own is my car.

Do I need to plan this over a few months and save and pretend like it’s all fine? I feel bad doing that but I’m a bit scared about what will happen and I’m scared not having a support network. Any advice would be helpful thank you. I just really want a nice partner at some point who I enjoy coming home to and feel safe with but I know I need to be on my own more.

Tl;dr Advice on leaving toxic relationship