It’s finally time to move on

I’m 23 and been in love with him for 10 years now. We only dated for two years. I broke up with my boyfriend mid-march and it was genuinely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The easiest way to explain is that I wanted more than sex (I have past trauma and it was killing me inside that it felt like that’s all he wanted from me.)I struggle a lot because of that trauma and while we did have a lot of good days this one thing held me back a lot. At some point I genuinely was struggling and decided to end it(I didn’t want to leave him but I knew that I didn’t want to continue feeling this way.) after a couple months I was able to move past it and I contacted him early August. We’ve been speaking on and off since then and I told him I still love him. He told me he loves me too but that we can’t be together. I was okay with that because I understood that me leaving him caused him a lot of pain but he makes comments sometimes and makes me believe that we could be together again and since then we’ve slept together a couple times. I feel ridiculous because he right after told me that he didn’t mean to lead me on. I try to be angry at him but I just can’t and for some reason the small crumbs he gives me are enough for me to still think he might be able to be with me. But I think I’ve finally accepted it and while it hurts so bad to know that someone I’ve loved for this long will no longer be in my life I know it’s the right thing for me. I hope he knows how patient I was with him.