Endless cycle of bulk and cut

Hello all i'm new here,

I don't know if I have an eating disorder but I think I do. Im not here for a diagnosis but Im wondering how to break this cycle. Im into lifting weights and get super super lean during the summer but then get super fat during the winter every year. I crash my hormones in the summer, ive tested this, and hate myself during the winter. But i cant find an in between. Ive tried to stop but theres no in between for me. I either never eat or I eat until I cant move. I guess I just have an obsession with being extremely lean. It never leaves my head but anyways is there anything I should do?