Advice

My child’s father and I separated earlier this year. We have a young child and currently have an informal 50/50 schedule, but there is no custody order.
He wants to make the 50/50 arrangement official through mediation. I’m not comfortable agreeing to that without understanding my options first.
I’m considering asking for our daughter to primarily live with me, while her father still has substantial parenting time, such as every other weekend plus holidays/vacations. I’m not trying to keep her from him or get sole custody.
I’ve generally handled most of her medical appointments, insurance, daycare-related things, etc. There is also a history of conflict between us that makes me uncomfortable negotiating directly with him.
Financially, I’m struggling. I work full-time, but after rent and expenses I have very little left over. Her father has also expressed concerns about child support, which makes me wonder if finances are part of the reason he is pushing to formalize 50/50.
I’ve tried to get an attorney, but I’m having a really hard time finding affordable legal help. I applied for Legal Aid and was initially approved, but when I met with the attorney I was told I make too much to qualify. I’ve also contacted other attorneys about limited-scope or lower-cost representation, but the retainers I’ve been quoted are more than I can realistically afford. I recently had another potential attorney option fall through unexpectedly, so I’m now considering filing on my own.
For those familiar with NY Family Court:
How does an informal 50/50 arrangement affect custody if there’s no order?

Do I have to agree to mediation?

Is it reasonable to request primary residential custody with substantial parenting time for the other parent?

How does NY generally consider frequent transitions for a young child?

If he files first, does that put me at a disadvantage?

How does custody time affect child support in NY?

Would it make sense for me to file first?

Has anyone successfully navigated NY custody court without an attorney?

I’m really just looking for advice from people who have been through something similar, especially regarding finding affordable legal help and navigating the process without representation.