“If he wanted to, he would”

Well, I guess realizing the truth of the above statement and seeing it unfold in front of my face is finally pushing me over the hump of this limerence, thank f***.

It’s been 10 months or so of hellacious “does he/doesn’t he” with a lot of staring/obvious-proximity-placement starting from his side, and a smattering of attempts on my part to start conversations to rope it back in from fantasy realm to “let’s get to know each other.”

It finally culminated in a longer conversation recently and exchanging socials, before I realized that actually…he’s mostly into himself, lol. That or he’s too nervous/young to have the requisite social skills I would require as an older woman in order to even have a fulfilling friendship (which was the only thing I was aiming for anyway since I’m married and not a cheater).

He doesn’t post a lot about himself, thankfully, but during our few conversations, I realized that as eager as he seemed to talk to me (especially this last time) the talk was ALL about him. And I encouraged that with questions because I did genuinely want to get to know him, but it just registered with me over the past couple days that not once did he ask me a polite question about myself in return.

He also hasn’t viewed any of my social media stories past the first one, despite posting his own, whereas I’d assume if he were an interested party he’d be all about checking on mine, like I certainly did with his. So either he actually does not care, or he’s trying to be nonchalant and deliberately not display any level of interest in me or my life.

Either way, that’s a done deal for me, because *I* know I’m worth getting to know as a friend and acquaintance. Now I’m not even sure I want that from him! House of cards is finally collapsing. Whew. I can’t recommend enough getting a good up-close view of your LO as a human being if you tend to be the type to pine from afar and build castles in the air for the two of you. I always had a hunch seeing his flaws would help move this thing along.