Just starting Hotwifing

So it is 100% my idea. I wanted to be her be with others as I am still faithful.

Now she has, and I don't know how to handle the energy, the overwhelming amazing horrible beautiful feeling of this dynamic.

I don't want her to stop, ever, but every time I start to say something, I get so overwhelmed I can't respond what I am actually thinking or feeling.

I may also add.... I am not much in size, which is/was the idea for me. So she is very excited to have found someone larger than me. Which isn't saying much, but to hear he describe the experience, it's so exciting and sexy. I can't keep my hands off of her.

What to do with this? Any suggestions? She's wants me on anxiety medication. I'd like not to, but she's going to give the ultimatum and stop if I don't.