He called me by my screen name [Final]

TW: Sexual Violence

Previous Part

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I tried to open the door handle again as I pounded on the window and screamed but that only managed to cause Arthur to laugh and chuckle behind me. I must have seen half a dozen people look at the car, they admired its sleek features and shape but their eyes glazed right over me. I was unseen and unheard through the thick tinted windows.

Arthur laughed and placed a hand on my shoulder, shaking me slightly.

“Mein Schatz, please calm. We’ll be there before you know it”.

I stopped struggling after I had realised that we had already left town and was now driving through the winding forest roads to the large river on the outskirts of town. I looked up through the tinted skylight and watched as the streetlights became more and more infrequent until they were replaced by the blanketing darkness of thick tree branches above.

As we drove I started to go over all of the commissions I had ever done. One of those men that I had talked to, moaned for and received money from was now sitting next to me. He could have been any of the dozen people who I had made videos for, I just couldn't figure out who. Last month I was commissioned to tie myself up. Will Arthur do the same, tie me up and suffocate me?

During the summer I was commissioned to eat steaks and butter while touching myself. Was that Arthur, will he force feed me? Will he make me choke down food until I'm too big to run away or wipe my own ass, or is he that guy who paid me to drink until I threw up over myself? Any of them could have done this, I bet multiple even thought about doing it if they had a chance but only one of them is here now and I didn't even know which one.

As we drove I started begging him to let me go. I told him that I'd do whatever he wanted, make whatever videos and content he wanted as long as I could do it at home. I told him that I'd only send the videos to him that way no one else would get to see, all my begging only made him chuckle.

The car pulled up beside a small modern cabin hidden by the thick trees, I almost didn't see it hiding in the shade through the dark tint of the rolling dumpster that acted as my cage. Arthur unbuckled his seatbelt, which seemed to be connected to the main console as the screens went dark. Arthur got out with a pained breathy wheeze, just like when we got in he unlocked and locked the door so quickly that my attempts to escape would only end with me struggling and flailing around in my cage like a cornered animal.

When my side of the car unlocked I didn't move to open the door I tried to retreat further into the car. I tried to climb to the backseats but my feet were quickly grabbed by Arthur. I tried to grab onto anything my hands could reach but the many stains and the collection of trash on the backseats worked as a lubricant, causing me to slip forward as I was yanked out of the car by my ankles.

I kicked, trashed and screamed ,

“Help, get the fuck off me. F-fucking help, someone, help!”

Once most of my body was out of the car and exposed my feet were dropped and the rest of me followed. I landed on the ground with a wet thud just barely avoiding my head smacking on the opened car door.

As I scrambled to turn around and get my bearings I was lifted and cradled to his chest with one hand while the other held my wrists tightly together stopping my attempted defense in one go. He probably thought that was comforting me, trying to get me relaxed, the same way a kennel worker will comfort an old mutt before putting it down.

We reached the front door and Arthur tapped something small from his pocket onto the door, as he placed the small piece of plastic back in his pocket the door opened with a similar sounding beep from the car door locks. He stepped forward and basically used my body to push the door open. I kicked at his thighs and stomach, each kick meeting a pad of fat but elicited no reaction from the man holding me.

Arthur huffed and puffed as he got through the threshold of the front door, we went through another door, right in front of the first. He took me into the entryway which was only illuminated by the outside light spilling in.

Each door I saw had a metal card reading padlock next to it. When Arthur closed a door behind his hulking frame it rang out a small beep to hide the ugly screech of its metal locking into place.
I was then tossed like a rag doll into the first room on the left. I didn't get to see much of the rest of the house but it was dark and no natural light was allowed to come in. The room I was thrown into, the same one I'm currently in, had a large white bed, many sleek modern closets and a large white carpet covered the floor. Both the layout and contents of the room looked like a modernistic IKEA cover, complete with wallpaper of the snowy Canadian mountains and bright white LEDs framing the small room.

I got back on my feet and reached the door just in time for Arthur to slam it shut and lock it. I banged on the handleless door until my hands became sore as the LEDs casted my shadow over the ceiling making the room feel more like a set than a real room in a home.

I could hear Arthur shift from foot to foot outside and I could hear the sound of fabric being moved across and off of skin. He was stripping on the other side of the locked door.

“I will let you out in ten minutes. Rest, my treasure." I heard him say through the metal door before Arthur shuffled away now carrying his jeans in his hands.

Stepping back from the door I looked around the room. There were no windows, no other doors, it was just big enough for the bed and its many closets. I was standing in a room made to hold someone, someone who had to substitute real sunlight with bulbs. I knew I was next to the front door but I might as well have been six feet below in a soundproof basement.

I took a moment to look at myself in one of the many mirrors that make up the walls of the room, the mirrors were infused into the walls like they were baby-proofed just for me. My combed hair has been ruined and sleeked back by Arthur's hands. My top and pants have been splattered by grease and dirt from being taken from the car to this new cage. I shuddered as I thought about how Arthur had been grabbing and pulling me all day. I pulled the fabric from my shoulder to reveal to myself a bruise setting from where his hands had been.

I felt marked like I was now carrying the filth from the outside into this clean sterile set, like I was some sinful monster thrown in here to await my punishment and judgement. I should have seen this coming, something to challenge me and break me down.

Backing away from the mirror I tripped back and landed on the soft white mattress, its silk covers threatening to swallow my body into the memory foam. For a minute I let myself sink onto the bed as I cried. I've been trying not to cry this whole time but I couldn't hold it in anymore. As I sobbed I used my tears to wipe away some of the filth and Arthur's dried spit from my face.

I used one of the pillows to wipe my face, smearing the remnants of the day on its soft cotton. After a while I started to search the room to see if maybe there was a window or some kind of escape hidden. I reached the opposite wall, its wallpaper painted like the Coast mountains covered in snow, as my fingers glazed the wall I found it to be concrete.

As I moved across the wall I was able to walk the full length of the room in just six steps, I opened the closet right in front of me. My heart dropped when I saw what was inside, I wanted to shut the door, pretend like I didnt see what was inside but instead took a deep breath and flung the closet door open.

Inside the first closet was a collection of sex toys still in its plastic packaging, dildos, vibrators and beads of all colors and shapes ordered in ascending order of size with the last toy’s box taking up a whole top shelf. I gritted my teeth at the mental image of Arthur holding it in both hands as he stands over me.

I looked to the other side of the bed and saw that there were two more closets facing the mirror I was just looking into. I didn't want to look inside but I knew that whatever Arthur had planned for me would be in there. My brain weighed the options of knowing the future danger or living in some kind of ignorant bliss for another few minutes.

I made my way around the bed, my chest heavy and my fingers twitch as I slowly reached for the handle. I pulled the door open, it felt much heavier than it really was. This closet didn't have shelves, instead it had a rack of hooks about eye level to me. Inside were a collection of riding crops. Some were thinner than others, some with dull spikes, as my eyes followed downwards I saw a tangled web of black leather straps and restraints that seemed used.

I didn't bother to close the closet door as I opened the one right next to it, inside were two racks of clothes. Jeans, tshirts, fluffy childish pajamas and finally hidden behind the hanging shirts was a full gimp suit with zipper mask. All of the clothes were my exact size, some looked unfamiliar or rarer than others but some were the exact same band shirts I always wear in my videos.

I slammed the doors to both of the closet shut before I opened them back open and started kicking at the bottom hinges of the door. If I wasn't able to get out then I had to at least try to barricade the door or do something to slow him down. I thought that if I could break the doors then I'd have something to work with.

I realised that the hinges were not budging, so I moved to the next closet to see the same hinges. I tried one weak kick but the results were the same as the last. I then moved quickly to the bed to see if I could push it in front of the door but found it to be bolted to the ground.

Just as I was trying to unplug one of the lamps I heard the familiar beep of the door unlocking and opening. I quickly got down and hid behind the bed, I cursed myself for not grabbing one of the sex toys to use as a dull weapon.

I waited with dread for Arthur to walk in, grab me by my collar and throw me on the bed but the only thing that came into the room was a faint musk and a far away sound so quiet I couldn't tell what it was.

I hesitantly peeked around the bed to find that the door was now wide open. He wasn't coming in, he was inviting me to come out.

I stood up and looked through the closets for something I could use against Arthur when I saw him. There wasn't much metal that I could use, all the dildos were rubber or silicone, too soft to do anything. I decided I'd take a spiked riding crop with me, the leather strap wouldn't do anything but its wooden grip could.

I made my way out of the room as I gripped onto the crop. I was half expecting Arthur to be right outside but when I looked outside I just saw locked doors and an empty dark hallway. I moved into the hall to see four locked doors leading to a bend in the house's layout. Just around the bend I could see a dull light and the quiet noise of an audience cheering on a tv. The hallway was dark enough that I could just barely make out the outline of door frames and a small hall table.

I tried the door that we came in from, for a moment turning my back to the sounds and light, the door handle stayed as still as the rest of the metal door. The electric pad next to the door gave no clue or hint on how I could escape without Arthur's phone or permission. I turned back around and realised that I only had two decisions, move towards the light and the sound of the TV or lay in bed waiting for Arthur to get mad enough to come find me.

I stepped slowly down the hallway, stopping to check the lock to each door as I do so. My hand became so sweaty that I almost dropped the riding crop with each shaking step. As I creeped down the hall I was waiting for Arthur to jump out of one of the doors. My mind raced with all the ways he could hurt and abuse me.

Even this hallway could be his kink, he could be watching me right now, leading me into the woods so he can hunt me down like a deer while he wears a camo hunting vest. He could be waiting for me to run or give up and I would have to play along until he got off.

As I got to the bend in the hallway I turned the riding crop around, I curled the leather strap around my fist and held it like a short handed hockey stick ready to brace for the charge of a three-hundred-pound German.

Around the bend I found the last thing I was expecting, a den. A living room or at least a room made to feel like one. A dirty grey shag carpet covered the ground, marked by food stains and gym socks.

Posters of American football players and semi nude models covered the wall along with a few college banners and unused dart boards.

A blue old bean bag placed near a box tv became the final resting place for a pile of pizza boxes. A game of American football played on the nearby boxed screen. The analogue technology struggles to keep the cheering crisp and the image of the teams clear.

Behind the tv, in the corner of the room and on the opposite wall were stage lights, dimmed and colored to mimic or heighten the little light sources of the room. A lava lamp was left unplugged as a production grade mood-light did its job for it.

On a large coffee table facing the TV set were empty crushed solo cups, delicately placed between porno magazines and a clean unused ashtray. The whole room looked like a carefully planned out and directed porn set, like something I would describe in one of my many videos or posts. The only thing out of place was the tall, 340lb pound mass of naked, pale, hair covered flesh on the center sofa.

The furniture creaked as he turned to look at me, the light from the tv glowed across his face and I could see why he needed the ten minutes. Arthur was wearing a full face of white makeup, each pore and hair poked through, His lips were painted a bright pink, the sloppy lines overlapped and stuck to his moustache.

The stage light behind Arthur showed on his body to expose his half naked body and the bikini that he wore. The hot pink bra dug into his back making a new fat roll as the front cupped his large flabby pecs loosely. The bottoms of the pink bikini disappeared into Arthur's crotch.

My eyes went lower until I was looking at his hands. I must have dropped the riding crop out of shock but I didn't realise until I heard it drop onto the shag carpet. On the floor next to his hands was an opened bag of zip ties and as I walked in he was tying his own arms down to the leg of the sofa.

Just then I was hit by a realisation, all of this was familiar because I had written it. The room, the bikini and everything else. It was from one of my commissions.

Last year I was commissioned by one of my followers to describe his fantasy in detail, he had this rule where in the video I wasn't allowed to say it was his ideas or kinks, they all had to be mine.
I did the video, took the money, sent him the video and two weeks later posted it publicly. I didn't think much of it until he commissioned me two more times to do the same fantasy, he wanted me to add to it, to make it worse.

He was polite, wasn't pushy and never tried to get me to lower my price. In the videos I played an abusive boyfriend who would “train” the viewer so that I could pimp him out to all my friends.

“Daddy? I-im sowwy did I w-wake you? What are you gonna do to me, daddy?” He said in an off key high pitched voice. His gruff real voice breaking and peaking through.

My mind took me back to when I received the third commission from that one account. I had heard of a single person requesting multiple videos but they were normally different fetishes and kinks. I had never heard of the same fantasy being commissioned three times over.

Each time it got worse and worse, the first video was just bondage and rapeplay the next incorporated sissification and gangbanging but in this last, the man requested talk of permanent ownership.

I only thought of the money coming in and gladly pretended that this was also my fantasy as the rules of the first commission laid out.

I should have stepped back, ran back to the room but at that moment I had an idea. I took a deep breath and took a step forward. I forced my voice lower as I tried to walk towards the couch without shaking.

“Ooh, no, no. These aren't gonna do.” I forced my body to stand by Arthur's side.

As I bend down to grab the bag of zip ties I can feel Arthur's eyes on me, not on my body but on my face, watching my performance. Watching closely as if waiting for me to fail and break out of the character that he wants me to be.

I held onto the bag with unsteady hands, I worked a few out of the ripped packaging, the light from the tv acting as my only guide as my hands inched closer to Arthur's. The zip ties around his wrists hugged his fat and flab in a way that made me feel a little bit safer but not enough.

I let out a deep breath before I said,

“I..I need to make sure my s-slut doesn’t get loose”. I tighten the two zip ties before adding one more to each wrist. Arthur's face was right next to my face, his eyes never leaving mine. As I fastened his wrists to the wooden sofa legs I tried desperately to stay focused and in character even as Arthur's hot breath fell on the back of my neck even as I noticed how he grinded against the cushions making the furniture creak.

Once I was done I backed away almost tripping over the table, I caught myself and tried to stay calm. I had to stay calm, still and in control. I stepped back behind Arthur and felt something against my foot, it was a phone, it was plugged into the wall, charging. It was just barely hidden under a pile of gym socks under a chair but at that moment it was my one and only hope, it was like finding a ladder in a labyrinth.

Arthur opened his mouth to say something but I didn't hear it. As soon as I saw the phone I reached down to unplug it and I ran back to the front door. Arthur called out after me,

“Daddy, daddy Tony, come back” his voice still high and girly as I escaped. I ran to the large metal main door and I started hitting the phone against the scanner to get one of them to work with the other.

All Arthur had to do was wave his phone at it and it worked but the more it didn't work for me the more I realised that I had the wrong phone. I tried to go into the phone but I couldn't find anything that looked like a security app, just homescreen shortcuts to my profiles on all platforms. I screamed and shouted and kicked the door in my desperate anger. After a few kicks I heard the wood of the door begin to crack and break. I was temporarily flooded with hope and doubled the effort I put into each kick before I realised that the door was metal not wood.

The sound of breaking wood was coming from the main room. I started throwing the full weight of my body against the door when I heard Arthur grunting and the snapping of plastic.

I kept on kicking as I held the phone tight to my chest, with each kick the sounds behind me became louder and closer. First the sound of breaking plastic and wood, then the sound of deep out of breath pants followed by the stomping of heavy feet and the sound of Arthur's stomach slapping against his groin as he chased down the hall.

I froze in horror as he got closer, I was expecting an attack, a punch to the side of my head or a chokehold. A part of me wanted it, wanted to die, wanted to not feel what he wanted me to feel next. I wanted this man to wrap his fat fingers around my frail neck and strangle me to death so I could at least be free.

Instead I felt the fabric of a bra press into my back accompanied by a hot puffing of breath down on the top of my head. I managed to hide the phone in my pants waistband before Arthur let his head drop onto my shoulder like he was a tired toddler. He let out a bratty, whiney pout before saying,

“Dadddyy, where are you gowing?”

His babytalk voice made me gag but his true voice made me break into tears, I felt a hand rub up my thigh as he growled in my ear in his gruff thick accent,

“You. Need. To. Stay”.

I broke down and started to cry, hot tears rolling down my cheeks. I let my body shake and I let my knees buckle as I sobbed in his arms. One of his hands stayed on my chest, gently rubbing and caressing as if trying to calm me down. His other hand slowly worked his way up my thigh. His thick digits were only inches away from the phone that I had hidden. He was about to reach into my pants and find the phone or something worse, something more “special” to him.

I needed to act quickly, if I stayed frozen then he'd reach the bulge and he'd know. I was scared and my brain did the only thing it could think to do to stay alive. I took a deep shaky breath that burnt like whisky in my sore throat.

“Tony, why don’t you-” Arthur stared in his normal voice before I spun around and slapped him across his painted face, his cheek felt like a brick wall coated in a sheath of moist concealed fat.
Arthur didn't flinch or move but he did have a surprised look on his face. I ignored the sting in my hand as I barked through my tears.

“W-WHO SAID YOU CAN SPEAK, BITCH?”

For a second the hallway was silent, we both stared at each other. I waited for him to react, his small dead eyes scanned over me once again, not staring but darting back and forward like he was trying to take in every detail of my performance.

I watched as his huge hairy hand moved from my side slowly up to his face, he lightly cupped the cheek that I hit and caressed it as if my weak attempt at a slap actually hurt him. I tried to keep a stern look on my face as Arthur's pink thin lips turned upwards in a vomit inducing smile.

Arthur's voice raised another octave as he giggled in my face.

“Theheheh, guess you'll have to put me in my place, Mein Kleiner~”

With my whole body shaking I led Arthur back to the room with the TV in it. At first I moved to grab his hand but stopped myself, I instead grabbed him by the back of his neck and started to push him forward. He leaned down trying to make his body smaller to aid in our shared performance, I watched as his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he moaned with each push.

As I led him with one hand I reached for the phone hidden in my pants with the other, my sweaty fingers slipping on the screen as I struggled to work it out without raising suspicion. As we passed by the door leading to the room that he threw me in, I tossed the phone onto the pristine white bed. I watched as the phone laid on the small pillow that I was crying into just a few moments ago, I tried to hide any sound it made by tightening my grip on Arthur's neck making him moan loudly. If Arthur noticed the movement behind his back he was too pleased to care.

Just to be sure I pushed him harder and faster down the hallway as I degraded him.

“Come on, Don't make me break your nose before I get the chance to break your ass, bitch” I growled into his ear. I remember being proud of that line when I first came up with it when I was writing the scripts to his commissions.

I led him back to the couch in the well lit room, the white noise of the tv and the stage lights rang in my ear. I welcomed the noise, the drowning drilling of the Football game helped me to block out the moans and grunts from the man I was holding down.

As he mounted himself onto the couch he moved himself back and forward in a failed attempt at wiggling his hips at me, the soft of wet flesh clapping against flesh echoing throughout the room. I tied him back down not really trying to restrict him but just trying to buy myself more time.
My fingers fumbled as I fastened his wrists to the now splintered damaged couch legs, each small “clip, clip, clip” of the zip ties mimicked my heartbeat in my throat as I held back tears by keeping a straight face.

I said what he wanted me to say, each practised line falling out of my mouth one after the other. Each curse, slur and insult carried the weight of years of anger behind it while also not meaning a single thing to me. Each syllable I spoke made Arthur spread his legs and raise his hips higher.
I got behind his legs, lowered my pants and leaned forward on his back.

I got into position like he wanted me to do, like I described in my videos and I just tried to focus and block out everything.

I tried to focus on my own imagination, to focus and finish sooner but the sounds and sensation of what was really happening kept on interrupting my escape. My memories were sabotaged at each step. I tried to picture my bed but the coarse fabric of the couch against my knees wouldn't let me leave the room.

I tried to remember the first time I had sex, the anxiety, the lust and the feeling of being wanted all. The feeling of finally having someone to hold and love, that memory was the last thing I had to hold onto. My soul refused to leave my body as I sped up my thrusting, causing Arthur to groan and demand more.

I opened my eyes, I hadn't even realised that I had shut them. Chances of me dissociating and being able to leave my body ended when my eyes fell over the beast in front of me. The sight of every wart and pimple on his back, to the sound of every soft clap of sweat covered skin brought me further away from my memories and back into that fucking room.

My imagined partner’s body warped and failed with each loud grunt and squeal that sounded less like lust and more like the noise of a pig playing in his long awaited slop. I tried to thrust faster and harder to get it over with but that only served to make me lose my focus faster and gradually lose the erection that I was fighting to keep.

I tried to keep it, I shut my eyes and tried to keep the image of my first and only lover in my mind. I felt the room closing in on me, I needed to stay hard, I needed to fuck this man or else I’d be dead. Before I knew it I was crying and I couldn't breathe.

I tried desperately to breathe in but couldn't, my tears ran down my face and onto Arthur's body as I was shaken violently. My vision blurred as I felt my heart beating out of my chest, I could no longer pretend like I wasn't in a cabin with my rapist, no longer pretend like I wasn't one mistake away from being killed.

My thrusting stopped and my stomach turned, I felt like I was going to throw up over his back when he moved his hips back against me. He rolled his hip and pushed back trying to get me to start moving again. I defaulted back to sobbing as Arthur snapped off his zip ties and reached behind his back to grab onto my shirt.

“WHAT?! Why did you stop, huh?” Thick fingers curl around my neck, no longer guiding or threatening but punishing. I let my body fall limp as Arthur moved to stand over me, his smudged eyeliner only aiding in making his pupils look more dilated and crazed.

My feet hovered above the ground as he carried me by the neck back down the hallway, my cone of vision was darkening but I could make out his bright pink lips opening and closing and spit flying from his yellow teeth onto my face. I didn't hear his screams and rant, I could just hear a dull ringing as I felt like my body was flying through the air.

I was expecting to be thrown into a wall, I hoped I'd be thrown into a wall. I wanted him to just kill me, to tighten his grip and snap my neck or to hit my head against the wall until my vision finally went black, until my tears and heart and guilt and shame finally stopped.

I could feel myself slip into sleep, my soul was finally about to leave my body when I was thrown through the air and landed on soft silk bedding. Air rushed into my lungs, burning deep in my chest as my vision slowly returned.

As Arthur towered in the doorway I realised that I was back in the bedroom that he had made for me. I moved my hand around the bed until I found the phone that I had stashed and slid it under the pillow behind my back.

Arthur's face turned deep crimson as he continued his shouting, as the ringing in my ears dulled his words became more clear

“-YOU USELESS SHIT, I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER” spit flew from his mouth, the dim lights of the bedroom shined lights on each droplet as they fell over the white carpet that still held the stains from my dirt covered body.

I flinched as he took a step into the room, he stood there frozen for a second as he tried to put together his next sentence.

“I-I… We were….FUCK!” he muttered loudly before stepping out of the room and slamming the metal door shut behind him, he stood outside the door cursing and shouting in a mix of English and German before storming back away.

After a few seconds as I was still trying to catch my full breath I heard the door to the bedroom lock with its soft “beep”.

I wanted to grab the phone under the pillow, I needed to try to get out again. I'd call the police or use it to track my location. I really did mean to do that as soon as i could but instead I rolled onto my side and faced the wall behind me.

Fresh tears seeped across my face as I laid in the bed, my eyes slowly falling over the wallpaper of the snowy Canadian mountains. My escape was inches away but my mind begged for peace, just a moment.

The cold white wind from the mountain fell down a steep valley and onto a small forest of spruce hiding a small lit cabin, white specks of pure snow fell onto the earth slowly painting the ground until covered.

As I sit in this cold white room I think about how I might never leave , if I made him angry enough he would just kill me but I also thought if I continue to play along then he'll keep me and that would be worse. Obviously he found me but would he really do what he threatened to do, to tell my family or was all that stuff about my parents just a bluff so he could get me out here.

I know it doesn't matter, I might never leave. I'll never go to college in some far off city, I'll never get to help my parents retire. I'll never get to see the snow again and I’ll never have a second chance at real happiness.

Peter never got to see the snow.

I promised him that when the weather started to change that we'd watch the first snow together from my bedroom window, cuddled up under blankets away from anyone who could see us. Away from my parents, the townspeople and his host family who was reporting back to his family in the Philippines.

I told him that I'd take him to hockey games and festivals, I told him that when we were both old enough to go to college that I'd go to any university that he picked and that no matter the country I'd always want to be by his side. Whenever we could we would see each other be it early mornings or after midnight deep in the woods by my house. I even tried learning a few phrases in Tagalog to surprise him.

For a few days there I was finally happy and feeling free, it truly felt like we were made for each other, like we were the light of each other's worlds. I would daydream constantly about moving out of town with him, marrying him. I even thought of how we would raise our adopted children together.

When the news that his host family found a backpack of whiskey in his room had reached my parents, I felt like it was only a matter of time before they got involved enough to realise that it was the same bag I used to use in middle school. The stolen alcohol and underaged drinking was bad enough but how was I supposed to explain away the condoms and homemade douche.

How was I supposed to explain my bag being hidden under the bed of the kid that my parents didn't even know I met. I felt like it was a race against time for who could throw the other one under the bus first, so I started telling my parents that I had heard some bad things about Peter. I had hoped that what I said was enough to imply that he was a thief and a liar but when my father and mother insinuated that he was getting girls drunk to abuse them, I stayed silent.

I was expecting some big fight , I was expecting Peter to call me a liar, to out me and himself to the whole town. What I was not expecting was for him to stay silent and not put up a fight. Less than a week later half the town were ready to run him out of town and he stoically left with no word of defence for himself. Everyday I think about him and I wish I could run away and find him, say I'm sorry and that I love him but I know I don't deserve to see him again.

I know I did this to myself, I should have known when I started doing the videos that this would happen. Here I sit sackcloth and covered in ash with only tears to wash me of what I've done. I'm sick and instead of stopping myself I ruined and corrupted others. I've hurt people and let others down. Maybe I deserve to be down here, I deserve to just die, that way I’ll never have to think about him again

All he wanted was to watch the snow with me.

When I die the only thing left of me will be photos of my ass and videos of my cock. Even if they get deleted from reddit and twitter I'm sure Arthur and people like him have them saved somewhere. I'll forever be his treasure.

What if he still tells people? What if he kills me and still tells my parents or doxxes me, sends my photos around town the same time he ditches my dead body in the woods as a final mark that I was unclean in all of this.

My parents would refuse my body. They would never let me be buried in the family plot. My name would forever be a stain on their perfect life, just another topic they don't discuss in front of others.

I'm currently hiding in one of the closets right now, on my knees switching from writing this and praying over and over. I never thought I'd pray again, thought it would never actually help to do it. I tried to pray, I tried to give Arthur what he wanted, I tried to play along and to escape. I'm down to one of my last options, confession. To cleanse myself before I die, just like I was thought to do.

 
Please, I'm losing hope here and I don't know when Arthur will be back. I don't care who you are but please, if you are around the Springfield river and are able to help, please, I’ll do anything.

 
I mean it, I’ll do anything you ask.