SA in Engineering

I love what I do. Currently I am a leading expert in Automation System implementation at an industry standard automotive company. The work I do is interesting, but I am constantly held back from learning and achieving more. I am talked down to and never listened to. Showing up feels like a humiliation ritual and the pay is something I know I'll struggle to get elsewhere. I am only sticking around for the money, which will be hard to match by anyone else, but it feels like hush money for what I have had to deal with here. It is the worst treatment I've had at any job, and Ive had some shit jobs. Suffering here will lead to better opportunities, which is the bigger reason I stay, with the hope to transfer to a new location eventually. They have been trying to stunt my learning and my confidence to stop me from leaving because they have recently had bad retention in recent years, but I am just hanging on until the next door opens.

If this was my first job out or school, I would have quit engineering completely. But I know there is better out there.

On top of getting talked down to and the constant sexism I have to face, I was raped on company property within my first 2 months of working here. It's been 6 months since and I am still struggling putting all the evidence together, unfortunately I know how these HR conversations go. I have detailed timestamps, audio recordings of him admitting it, etc, so I am not worried about them doing the right thing when I report, but the process is just horrible and drawn out. (I am in the process of finishing up the documentation for HR before I report so please dont comment with what I should do about MY rape case, especially if you haven't been through it, thanks.)

The constant sex discrimination and the rape just really killed me inside. I know I deserve a better job and I can't wait for the next opportunity, but man I wish it wasn't this hard.

My old boss said these things will always happen in this industry (at the time he was referring to comments a man was making about my body). "I wish I could stay this is the last time you will go through something like this, but it won't. Expect it, but dont accept it. You never have to accept being treated like that, I wouldnt, and if they dont listen, go somewhere that will. Report to HR, don't tell anyone else, keep showing up, and do your best to keep business as normal so people don't tie you to it(because then they will further ostracize you)."

I think about that all the time now.

This is my third time going to HR about harassment (at 3 different companies). I will say, in Automotive, they seem to do right by us, at least in my experience so far. When I worked fast food and even had video footage they stuck up for the guy. :/

I just wished it would be better for women by now.

If you are going through something like this, I see you and you are not alone.