Ever have to catch yourself?

Even though I’ve been away from my father’s influence for half my life at this point, I still catch myself saying things he’d say. My father used words to hurt you, he was cruel, mean, had no sympathy for anyone. His favorite words were “Dummy, Schmuck, dipshit), he didn’t say these in a funny way he said them to make you feel like shit.

I bring this up cause yesterday I was talking with my mom and I was telling her something and she didn’t understand something I was saying and I said “Just listen dummy.”. I immediately caught myself and apologized. I haven’t been around my father’s negative energy in 10 years, still it sometimes happens.