I 25M Need help addressing my partners frequent and repeating patterns with lack of genuine heart postures in my relationship with a 25F of 2 years.

I 25M am in a middle of a huge heart ache which all comes down to my partner's inability to show true heart posture. I just had to write this I'm in a long term quiet desperation for genuine heart posture from my partner.

Long story short I dated a girl from a chinese descent but 3 generations have grew up in a different asian country and they're not open to interracial relationship even with a different type of Asian. I've been in a relationship with her without her family knowing about me for 2 years and now her closest cousin 28F wedding came up and she introduced me and they seemed to like me but when the dinner came my table was reserved for me with other people I don't know and my gf didn't even invite me to say hi or feel comfortable around her family. Her cousins 30M actually even brought up to welcome me in their family table and even invited me to go out with them tomorrow to spend time with the aunties and uncles. I felt extremely hurt because I understand that I was left in my reserved table uncomfortable and hurt but the thing that makes my heart ache was my gf lack of initiative or heart posture to make me feel welcomed. When I brought it up to her she said she was gonna invite me but throughout the years when her family come over from overseas she just makes me feel insignificant and spends all her time as she can with her family. So I doubted that statement was true. I'm just in so much ache knowing she lacks the initiative and heart posture to make me feel loved and welcomed in her family. Trying to show initiative and heart posture to make me feel comfortable around your family is one thing but being cold even when I'm a few tables away from her and her family is another. The thing that breaks me is that I've just always had this trouble with her showing lack of love. She seems to have a really hard to understand thought process because she can't seem to process hard emotions (she is a avoidant attachment). I just wanted to know for the people who've been here how did you deal with it? Pls give me your heartfelt and best advice also elaborate why. Thank you.