Haven't binged in a while but still feeling miserable

I haven't binged in 42 days now, which I'm super proud of, but there's just this constant emptiness. I always find myself thinking about food and wanting to restrict myself. It gets really exhausting and I guess I just thought that it would slowly die down after the first month at least. I feel tired and numb all the time even though I'm eating 3 proper meals a day and I don't restrict at all. Just seeing food stresses me out, even more than before, because I don't want to lose my progress. I've broken down crying multiple times this week alone because of all the noise in my head. I feel so guilty because other people who struggle with this have it so much worse. At least I have the privilege of being able to "force myself" to not binge, so why do I feel so awful all the time. I feel like I've worked so hard to get here but it's not at all what i expected it to be like.