It’s never me

Hello, 26F. I just wanted to get off my chest since I have no one to talk to about what I’m going through. I feel like I’m always the “better off as friends” or simply let’s just pretend we never met girl right before they find their person. I know not everyone meets their person on first encounter but my experiences have been repetitive. I meet guy, he and I have great convos, I eventually like guy but he never reciprocate feelings/ghosts. For instance: flirting/video calling & texting frequently with this guy. Eventually things died down because he shared he had alot going on, I gave him space then decided to check up on him like a month after, he got annoyed and basically told me to get a life. He Found a gf 3mths after. Second instance: I was talking with this guy, he also started having stuff going on, he requested space and promised that it isn’t what I think it is because I did share my prior experience with him but eventually…you guessed it! He found a gf not a month after. When I found out I asked “what the heck?” and his reasoning was that she was there for him during trial times and ‘it just happened’. After dealing with that I decided to piss off with relationships and just probably stick with just physical stuff. Found a guy to do that with but after conversations…unfortunately…I start to like him. Ik! Why the heck would I do such a thing? But I’m human, sue me. Rather than our usual texting, it started to become one sided with my initiating text. I seemed clarification because I stupidly thought he liked me too and all in all, I found out he didn’t even consider me as a friend nor even a person. Even though I knew what the arrangement was from the start, it still stings lol. Texting has become nonexistent so I already know where that’s leading to and I wouldn’t be surprised if he found himself “his person” next week.

I just can’t wrap my head around why do I encounter people never valuing me? What kind of piss poor luck do I have lol. I’ve 80% come to the realisation that romantic relationship isn’t something I’ll get to experience in this lifetime but that 20% is still there in the back of my mind being hopeful. How do I learn to not care about feeling lonely or wanting relationships? A lot might say to find things to do/get busy or hang with friends. Literally 90% of my friends and either married or in long-term relationships. Also, I do try to get busy, I’m currently going to school and withing but that doesn’t stop my heart from feeling the way it do. I figure hearing similar stories, getting feedback or hearing from people with success in the end will make me feel a bit better.

TLDL: Never the right girl and I need help learning how to not care about feeling lonely or wanting relationships?