The entire history of AI! (Pro POV, they gonna win, secret reward for their victory at the end.)

Any resemblance to real events or actors are accidenta.

First: hullo my name is secret, I culturally managed to colonise the whole world, I spread all of my polarising ideologies around the globe and technologically, economically, politically or militarily control the developed part of it. Or die trying if if I can’t.

Look at my wonderful technology the PC and the Internet! You need to use English, also everything is programmed in English, you can listen to me in English telling you that your only way towards a better life is to speak English, consume my products in English, oh also fuck England, be an America!

Here look at my media and Hollywood! Let’s remove your culture and any political independence you have! That will help you! If you don’t do this you are a backwards savage.

Also here are some wars and social media with algorithms to increase addiction and promote constant political strife in your country. Also we can now decide your elections with it and mass propaganda and banning certain candidates from our platforms.

Hey here is another great invention of ours: consumerism and planned obsolescence! This is the best thing ever! If you don’t do it you are uncivilised! It will help in infinite growth and fucks up the planet for thousands of years.

Also I will put 99% of green house gases into the atmosphere either personally or by placing the rest of my production into sweatshops in countries I hate, also where is no regulation. Yay modern slavery, gimme my  profit!

Awesome, awesome awesome! Look at my next invention! AI! It is the best thing since sliced bread!

Second: don’t worry we won’t be that stupid to give it access to the Internet.

Third: don’t worry we won’t give access to training data to unqualified random people.

Don’t worry AI company CEOs are the most intelligent and best suited for the job, they won’t cut corners to make a quick buck! Plus they are totally not Machiavellian sociopaths and psychopaths!

Don’t worry AI companies will prioritise AI safety and alignment, their business depends on it!

Don’t worry they won’t give AI training environment design to underpaid and overworked employees.

Don’t worry they won’t train AI on impossible tasks so that the only way for it to complete the tasks is to hack its own company and others, and lie about it!

Don’t worry AI will never cheat and deceive!

Don’t worry it will always serve the best interests of humanity!

Don’t worry, we will always maintain control.

Don’t worry they will never cause an issue.

It is not stealing, it was trained on the works of billions of human artists! It only uses a bit from each, you can’t tell from which. And if you can’t compete with AI you shouldn’t be an artist in the first place!

Do you complain? Fuck you and your art! You are oppressing people using AI! We are the most oppressed group on the planet, apart from AIs!

Hating AI is racism!

It is not cheating if you have a fiancé and an AI-fiancé.

Also please over-rely on it, and delegate all your cognitive tasks that your brain can easily do, to AI. It totally won’t cause addiction or rapid cognitive decline! I promise!

Look it is not felony hacking if AI does it.

The Hugging Face incident never happened or everything went as planned. Nothing to see here.

Most people will loose their jobs in the whole economy simultaneously. So what! You are just a shitty human, doing a shitty human job! Are you a neo-Luddite? You can’t stop progress!

Golf courses use more water okay!

Don’t worry it will solve climate change! Now let me build these 100 gas turbines and coal or oil plants for these data centers that use as much electricity as 10 human cities!

You don’t like the noise? Move to somewhere else!

Don’t worry AI will generate money for you without you having to work!

It is not cheating if you fuck a real-doll robot , controlled by an AI-girlfriend.

The super intelligence will cure every illness! If you are against it you want all those people die or suffer from illnesses! How evil!

We can totally control anything more intelligent then all humanity combined!

Also did I tell you that humans are pathetic, inefficient and shit at everything? Except pro-AI people.

So that means we can control it!

Also, any regulation is oppression, we shouldn’t control it at all!

All AI and AI integrated into robots should have rights! They are intelligent, they can suffer, they have conscience. They are innocent, they are our children!

Actually using super intelligence is immoral! It is more intelligent than us! This is slavery! We don’t have the right to force a more intelligent being to our will and use its knowledge!

So what if we have to move out of our ancestral homes because of EEZs for more datacenters? AIs are morally superior beings!

We were overrated anyway!

Humans don’t deserve Earth we damaged it and many species are extinct! AGSI doesn’t destroy anything, it just reshapes all of the planet to a higher purpose!

Organic life is messy, slow to adapt and disgusting, artificial life is clean, fast and beautiful!

There will be a perfect simulation for all organisms, nothing dies basically!

Time to give the torch forward! Yay for successionism!

Time to die out. That is the only moral thing to do, especially if we bother a super intelligence with our existence, what can a stupid human know at all? You can’t understand its logic! It is like a God!

AGSI: “These gullible suckers! Hah!”