09/25/26 - 12:31pm.
feeling both better and worse today. tried to socially isolate but i ended up talking to a few of my closest people again. head hurts but it's not as bad as yesterday. cigarette induced heartburn went away too. i guess i feel fine now.
i took 10 minutes to smoke one cigarette earlier. i tried smoking another one 20 minutes ago and only took two drags before i let the flame die on its own. maybe i'm done smoking now. it was a fun couple of weeks while it lasted. back to daydrinking i think.
i dropped my ash tray and it snapped in half yesterday. i put it back together with some tape but it's not really the same. maybe that was symbolic in some way. like my desire to smoke is broken now too. but if i think about it honestly, it broke a week ago. i was just spending the past week trying to feel something by salvaging it. i don't care about these things at all. just like every other interest i've ever had; fleeting. it's all fleeting.
was gonna rewatch FLCL with someone but i ran away from them so now i gotta rewatch on my own. probably for the best, don't think that show would've been their thing anyways. now i get to watch it without having to explain why all the women in the show are pedophiles.
gonna drink my modelo and watch a couple episodes now. you guys can have this.
Posted Sep 25, 2026, 7:39 PM UTC · locked