I am finally free.

I would like to apologize if my wordings might sound weird since English is not my first language.

I first went no contact in 2020. I did not tell any of my ex parents directly but through my brother, with whom I also do not have any contact anymore. He has always been the golden child and the last time I talked to him to let him know about me going NC, he called me stupid - for when my ex parents would pass, we would get the inheritance. None of it is worth my mental health. I was unsure if they were aware of this, to which my thought was pretty much confirmed by an ex friend of mine called and asked me why I did not want to talk to any of my ex parents anymore and his words - they're my parents, they did it out of love. I told him we cannot be friends anymore, since he would rather be siding with my abuser.

Since then, my ex dad has been trying to contact me via LinkedIn and emails. I only started therapy continuously since 2023 and though I am in much better place now, his emails would make me have mental breakdowns. They were all written with no consideration of my mental wellbeing at all. The focus of his messages were always him and my ex mom.

It is probably also worth mentioning that I moved from my homeland to Europe in 2017 and my ex mom, being a controlling narcissistic freak that she is, prevented me from keeping my birth certificate. Her reasons - I would lose it. I was 23 years old back then. I believe I have quite a couple of years of adulting and I would keep that document safe with me.

Earlier this year, I decided that I want to be a citizen of the country I am in at the moment and for that I will need my birth certificate. Me and my therapist agreed that the best way to approach this is to hire a legal team in my home country to communicate with my ex parents to ask them for my birth certificate and on top of it, to stop contacting me. None of us had any ideas how long this would take and everyone was hoping that my ex parents would give up the document without resisting.

Boy was I very wrong.

They have their own demands. They were very much exactly like how I remembered to be.

Client has not yet obtained access to her birth certificate. The parents stated that they are willing to discuss the matter, but requested:

1. Mediation/direct communication with client first;
2. An explanation of the intended use of the certificate (e.g., for personal purposes/'freedom' or other purposes)
   The parents wish to ascertain whether, should something happen to them at some point (illness/death), client would still wish to be informed.

The parents will convey an open apology to client for any wrongdoings that may have occurred during her upbringing

The parents wish to have an online meeting with an intermediary party to talk about the emotional burden/wounds client feels towards her parents

The mother expressed her willingness to send money should client needs it, in an amount exceeding what is required, according to her means

The parents plan to accompany client for facial surgery to South Korea, funded from the mother's savings.

Once the emotional wounds have healed and communication has been restored, the mother stated that she will reduce her involvement in client's life and focus more on her own life.

The more I read it the more I laughed. It juts gets worse as it goes.

I was a silly 13 years old when I nagged my ex mom for a facial surgery, I just started following K-Pop boy bands back then. Very interesting to me since I used to wear glasses with very high myopia prescription and nag her almost every chance I had to let me have the lasik/ICL surgery and I would absolutely follow her command to the T, which did not happen. And she chose to bring up something that I have completely forgotten.

Of course I declined all of them, including the inheritance, and had to reiterate for the second time that I will not have any contact with them in any way and that they have no rights to contact me.

So my legal team decided to move forward the hard way by going to the police and the court to report that my birth certificate 'went missing' so that I would be able to get an official copy of it. I received it yesterday.

It feels like yesterday is my actual birth date. A gotcha day, probably. But I feel absolutely free now. It's nice.

I also financed my own eye surgery 2 years ago because fuck her :)