Feeling hopeless

It’s been a bit too rough lately, sometimes I just stand on a street and wish a car hits me. That this ends.
I probably wouldn’t do anything to hurt myself, but I actively wish that my life ends and this misery ends.

I imagine how it’s probably for the greater good for everyone, my parents wouldn’t have to handle my mood swings which they think are random because they’ve no idea what I’m going through, my friends who are tired of telling me that it will get better and asking me to move on and stop self sabotaging myself. And him, I bet he’d be so relieved that I don’t exist anymore and will never text him randomly to remind him the pain he has caused.
I am 26, I’ve been through breakups, but I’ve not felt this way ever, and I really don’t see any light in the end of this tunnel.