Failed on day one

At the start of this year I overdosed and had to leave uni and spend the year getting sober. I tried , I really did. I was sober for 3 months and it was hell, but the second I moved back to uni I got straight back to it. I had months and months to figure out some kind of routine, some way to improve my life. I didn’t get there. Now I’m writing this as I’ve already missed my first 2 classes, haven’t eaten in a week, and have Valium getting delivered as we speak. I am such a failure.