M21, in a dilemma, don't know what to think on this

BIG POST INCOMING (i genuinely don't know what to write in TLDR, either ignore it or if you read it, please bear with me 😭🙏)

I am in a gmc now and my third year would get over soon.

The thing is, I started liking a girl, 19(let her name be S), who is in first year for about sometime now. (by the time I write this, she must have finished 1st year)

Just a backstory - S lives in mumbai and hates this college (so do I) and only has good friends in mumbai. We started talking in nov 2025 through reddit where she asked me first about the college and its environment (mind you I never approach any girl first) ,and for the first 3-4 months we talked a lot, at that time i developed feelings for her, but when i finally met her irl in march 2026, i did confess that i had a crush on her at first, but in february i did not, and also casually said to her that i dont want to be in a relationship since i know i would not give my 100% (i still believe in it), her response was kinda dry too, saying that she will decide, and i was perfectly fine with that back then.

Fast forward 6 months (in between we did talk but occasionally) in august, and her final uni exams approached, as a senior, I texted her all the best, and she explained her situation to me how she had experienced many things in a span of 5 days, just before her first mb exam of anatomy, and was mentally exhausted since she told me she got "betrayed" by some of her mumbai friends, I consoled her, and after her first exam, (which she did well nevertheless) I went to meet her in a restaurant near our college, where we had a good talk for about 2 hours, and since I did not brong any vehicle, we walked across the streets till around 11 pm together and finally she left for home alone (she did not want me to come with her to drop her at her home even though i insisted), also she had started making friends here in these 6 months and formed a good 3-4 friends as well and i felt genuinely happy for her, although i still maintained with her that i am a senior and not her bf or anything. During our outing, S once asked me what girl would I like as a gf - I answered that my ideal gf should be "introverted like me, and matches my energy", which, I know, is completely opposite LOL (I want my gf to adopt me by being extroverted - which does describe S, so I kinda fumbled by saying that i suppose)

But now, in the present day, she has not shown any interests in talking to me altogether, and I realized, in all these months of talking, except for the first 3-4 months (in which we both never called each other and only texted in whatsapp) she just approached me first regarding her work, and never asked me anything about my life/work, as soon as her work gets done, she becomes passive/ does not properly respond to my questions, and even in instagram, only I send her reels and she reacts to them, she never sends me anything from her side, and S only sometimes points out MY likes in reels that SHE gets on her feed but not anything else.

Coming to the MAIN crux - this feeling is now eating me from the inside. I want her (S) to like me and talk to me, but also I dont want a relationship with her since she does some things that goes against my ideals, but at the same time, I like talking to her and having second thoughts about casual relationships, also, she once said she prefers guys of her age (me being 2 years elder to her) but also said she is open to date guys till 2 years. At that time when she said this, I jokingly told her "Oh, so I do have a chance lol" and she laughed and sarcastically said "no", since we both knew that both were joking (I was joking then too), but now I think I fumbled hard.

What should I do? How should I stop getting obssessed with her?