I can’t get my brother’s face and how his skin felt out of my head

I have struggled with intrusive thoughts for about 10 years now. Prozac helps a ton! Usually they only creep back in when I forget a couple doses, like when I’m camping and not paying attention to my phone/medication reminders.

Right now I’m current on my meds, but my brother’s dead body won’t leave my brain. How his skin felt, all cold and different, is the most upsetting thing my brain is obsessed with currently. It will not stop and is causing a lot of anxiety!

I’m trying to be the strong one for my parents. I am helping with memorial planning and keeping them occupied along with my other siblings, but this is getting in the way. I’m 10 months sober and had no urge to drink, until these thoughts creeped in… Shutting it all off sounds great.

I don’t know what I am trying to accomplish with this post. I guess I just wanted to get this out.