Dinner: Michelin restaurant in Baren, Switzerland. Veal pinwheel and brown butter foam white asparagus for entrees. 

I (22M) come from a middle class family. We never had the nice cars or expensive items but I never grew up worrying about money. My grandfather also owned his own business and is very well off, however that is not my money nor my father’s as my grandfather is still with us (thankfully!!) 

I have always been smart and above average at most things in life. I have always felt destined for a greater purpose and a successful future. Given this I didn’t take school to serious XD. Covid happened sophomore year of highscool for me and after that my GPA dropped. I would drive around with my friends smoking and doing anything but school. Senior year starts and I decide not to go to college. I send out zero applications and almost have the mindset that if you’re going to college you’re wasting money and will be working for someone like me when they’re older. 

My buddy’s father owned a large company and offered me a job fresh out of HS. Starting at around 40k a year. First few years went great, lived with my parents and was able to build up a good savings at 19 years old of about 15k. I moved out with my girlfriend (still with her) and all was well. We even went on a few trips to Mexico and Italy. 

I started getting comfortable and living above my means. Eating out a lot! Expensive experiences and lots of WEED. Eventually I rinsed my savings down to be around $1000 a little over a year ago. Since then I have got it down to around $500 and have about $12k in credit card debt. 

I stopped smoking in April to challenge myself and work on my side business. It went great, got debt down to around 6k and was starting to see real progress in my side business. Then here comes July 4th, I figured I’d treat myself and take a dab for AMERICA. I whip out the puffco and take a hit, haven’t gone a day without it since again.  

My debt is back up to 12k plus, I’m blowing money in my side business and can’t seem to stop smoking. I know sometimes things can sound easy or like there is an obvious solution but being in the situation can be different. I feel lost. I am unsure of how to move forward and would love some kind words and reassurance things will work out. I get that most people my age out of college have significant student loans so that helps calm me down but I still can’t help but feel like I’m fucking myself.

Few side notes: Yes, I acknowledge weed is one issue and I understand it needs to go from my life until/only if I can foster a healthy relationship with it. It is still hard to stop after 7+ years of daily use. Also, I know a lot of this is my fault, I’m not asking for pity, just reassurance things can and do get better if you put the work in. 

PS: I did not pay for dinner. DINNER IS NOT WHY IM IN DEBT 😂 

I know I’m the reason I keep falling behind.