Response: The 21M "lazy chud son"

My mom made a post on reddit basically saying I'm a fat chud with no job and no friends who sits around at home all day and blah blah blah. Very misinformed. And it's very disheartening she would go to the internet with our problems instead of talking to me personally, especially with a post full of straight up lies about me.

Immediately after graduating I did an internship with an indie film company. It was unpaid, but alas. Our agreement was that I focus on unpaid internships until I could get a foothold in this industry. I actually talked about getting a paid job at Bestbuy or something and she explicitly told me to focus on internships. In the meantime, I'm looking for more work. I directed a film that got into the biggest writing competition in our region and I'm still doing my writer's assistant internship with the understanding I will have to go once I get something paid elsewhere. I also started doing paid editing work for this company.

The idea that I'm 1. Not looking for a job or working at all and 2. Just sitting around all day being lazy are not reality.

And no she doesn't give me $900 of back child support. Granted she didn't willingly lie about that I think she was just trying to protect our identity. But no, she does not "give me $900 a month for free", I get my own $900 a month from disability.

Yes I am now overweight. I had major depression because I lost a friend group in college and let myself go but I'm working on it. I don't "sit around home all day", I look for jobs and write and go out to hang out with my girlfriend. I make music on the side and just did my first live performance and manage my friends music. i don't even play video games all day in fact I've never been a gamer. I don't have "no friends", everyone is just mainly online these days so I'm not constantly going out to hang out, but I have networked with other people in my industry at my age and even expanded my network out into other states.

I am genuinely making efforts to better my physical body after a long period of depression and weight gain and I am doing a good job albeit yes I do snack and eat chips occasionally.

I'm not pretending I'm this perfect kid or not at fault entirely. I am genuinely making efforts to better myself and get work in this industry. There are legitimatevissues on my part under this. I let myself go, I forgot chores sometimes, I was bad with money and now I'm working on budgeting.

But the way she communicates this and escalates it into attacks on my character is an entire different issue. "You ate chips" turns into "you are breaking my heart and destroying yourself with sloth and envy and gluttony". "I have been miserable for twenty years." "I would rather die than live one more year with you". Specific behaviors on my part and being turned into judgements about who i fundamentally am.

There is an enormous escalation between chips > unhealthy eating > you're self destructive > you're making me miserable > i wasted twenty years > i would rather die. That reaction is disproportionate.

It is honestly tiring. I don't know why she would go to reddit with our personal issues when I have been nothing but respecting and happy for everything she did for me. Especially the idea of me staying at home until I can get my foot in the door in my industry because in this economy it costs an arm and a leg to even afford rent. I was very thankful for that. I even wrote songs about it thanking her for raising me.

But this is starting to affect my mental health.

Since I was a little kid she has told me that I make her life miserable. That I break her heart. "I love you but I don't like you" when I was acting out in kindergarten. That I am ungrateful and spoiled and self destructive like my dad. That she is suicidal and having a kid at 20 ruined her life because if it wasn't for me she would have gone to college in London and became a scientist, or at least she would be able to kill herself and not live in this world anymore. She says I hate her so much and I appreciate nothing.

This entire blowup started because I ate some chips. Similar blowups can happen if I forgot to do a chore that morning. Very small things turn into huge blowups where I'm apparently ruining my life and making her miserable or whatever. And she had the audacity to tell me I'm the one who needs therapy here.

She keeps talking about kicking me out and "going our separate ways". I don't even want that. I just want her to realize her part in this. How excessive and unhealthy her reactions are to little things. How she talks shit about me to family members and her friends like I'm some fat lazy chud when I'm working hard to succeed in my industry, How the things she's said to me since I was a little kid are reflective on her own trauma and mental bullshit and that she pushes it on me and splits on me over minor things.

And I take direct issue with the toxic people here who don't know anything about the situation feeding into this. This is not an issue for strangers online to tackle. It is between me and her alone and this never should have been posted publicly.