Angry today

I feel angry today. I was thinking about how I'll never be able to visit New Orleans because I wouldnt stay sober. I mean, I always wanted to visit but tbf I didnt visit when I was drinking either. Then it got me to thinking about how I wish I didnt have a bad relationship to alcohol.

I chose sobriety, no one forced it on me or gave me an ultimatum. Im only 4.5 months in. I feel dumb for even being angry about a hypothetical situation.