Raised to Believe I was Unacceptable

From the time I was a child, I was raised to believe that I was unacceptable and that I needed to change.

I've been in and out of therapy since I was a teenager. When I was a teenager, my mother was constantly after me to lose weight (she would pay me for every pound I lost).

Being a "C" student in school was unacceptable to my mother (She punished me if I didn't make the honor roll. The one time I made the Dean's List, she asked me, "Why can't you do this all the time?")

Recently, she told me that she was raised on hand-me-down clothes. When she was a girl, the extended family would come over every year at Christmas and dump a load of clothes on the floor (my mother wore whatever she could fit into). To this day, she strives to keep her weight as low as possible (even to the point of starving herself). Of course, I didn't know any of this when I was a teenager.

When people tell me, "If you want to be successful, you need to be the person who is already successful". I interpret that statement to.mean, " You need to be another person entirely. Who you are right now is unacceptable and needs to change."

How do I get out of this loop?