everyone wants me to be “better” like i was last year, but i was struggling just as much then

i have agoraphobia, POTS, and EDS (as well as other things that are irrelevant). last year i was properly medicated for the agoraphobia and was unfortunately hypomanic a lot, so i was going out a ton and could even hold down a job (just doordash, but it was better than nothing)

at the same time i was in constant pain/had significant bruising, and had multiple injuries from eds. i pushed myself into flare-ups, was again, facing multiple months of in and out hypomania, and making very poor choices that could’ve landed me in unfortunate circumstances

it feels like people around me see that as the “goal”, getting me back into being able to do everything again and be who i was last summer but i really do not want that