[In Progress] [128k] [Epic Fantasy] The Wielder

My project is called The Wielder. It’s a fantasy series I’ve been developing for the last couple years. For a while it was a casual hobby but as of this summer I've been spending much more time with it after graduating college. It’s a large, multiple-POV story involving political intrigue, conquest, religious knighthoods, and characters whose personal ambitions and grudges become entangled in a much larger war.

An important note about the format: This is currently written as chapter-by-chapter outlines/synopses, rather than a fully developed prose manuscript. The earlier chapters are relatively concise summaries, but they've gradually become much more detailed as I've gotten into the habit of writing longer entries. Later chapters include extensive descriptions of scenes, character thoughts, and dialogue, so the level of detail isn’t uniform throughout. The first 2 books are fully outlined, and the third is about 2/3 of the way done. The complete document is approximately 128,000 words, but I’d be happy to start by sharing a smaller section. 

I realize this is an unusual format for a beta request, so I want to be clear about what you’d be reading. I’ve approached it this way because the story has a lot of interconnected characters and plotlines, and I want to work out its structure and character arcs before committing to fully developed prose. Building a detailed outline lets me develop the story in stages and make substantial changes without having to rewrite finished chapters each time. I intend to finish the full outline within 1-2 year time frame (likely 8-10 books) and only then start writing fully-developed prose chapters.

About the story: A long-dead conqueror, Valtarion, returns to reclaim the continent he once ruled. As his campaigns spread in the west, the kingdom of Magnuria faces threats from both beyond its borders and within its own court. Old rivalries, disputed loyalties, and ambitions for the throne undermine the people who might otherwise stand against Valtarion, the larger threat.

At the center is Mark Halvyrd, a talented young nobleman and knight. He is arrogant, reckless, and involved with the criminal underworld. He wants admiration without the responsibility that comes with earning it. As his privileged life unravels, his capacity for loyalty and generosity competes with his anger, vanity, and more self-destructive impulses. It's worth noting that calling any character the "protagonist" is a pretty loose term. Mark has the most POV chapters, but his chapters are still only 11.2% of the story, so the cast is pretty evenly split.

Some other significant characters include:

Deric Wynther, an overlooked younger son whose desire to escape his brother’s shadow develops into an increasingly dangerous appetite for recognition and power.

Kai Garendell, the king’s illegitimate son, who has built his identity around a religious order of knights after being denied a place in his father’s family.

Tom Quickeye, a newly knighted young man who finds belonging in that same order, but whose vows become complicated by personal attachments and unresolved grief.

Rylene Garendell, a fiercely ambitious princess determined to claim her place as a ruler, whose struggle to prove herself is complicated by her temper, insecurity, and growing hunger for authority.

Styrling Silverheart, a lord serving Valtarion on the invading side whose wish to protect his family draws him into a campaign that increasingly tests what he is willing to do for them.

Jaryd Hagen, a respected warrior and devoted father whose contempt for the decadence of his fellow nobles conceals a dangerous attraction to violence and conquest.

Gordyn Reece, a charismatic prince of Valtarion's homeland whose wit and easy charm coexist with extraordinary cruelty, and who sees conquest as an opportunity to indulge both his ambitions and his appetites.

Elaina Garendell, a compassionate princess struggling to reconcile her faith and desire to help others with a world where even well-intentioned choices can have brutal consequences.

Mathieu Trivane, a displaced prince whose grief over the destruction of his family and homeland drives him toward revenge, threatening to consume whatever remains of his former self.

The story follows people on opposing sides of the conflict, including some who knowingly embrace the cruelty of the conquest. Alongside the warfare and supernatural elements, a major focus is how characters justify their choices: what they believe they deserve, whom they consider worth protecting, and how far they can compromise before becoming someone they once would have despised.

What I’m primarily looking for is input on the story and characters; things like which characters/storylines are interesting and which are less captivating, whether motivations, developments, and relationships feel realistic, where the plot feels potentially repetitive, confusing, or overly convenient, which storylines are under-explored and leave you wanting more, and whether major turning points feel earned.

Because of the format, sentence-level editing isn’t really my priority yet. Honest reader reactions would be really helpful, including knowing where you stopped feeling invested.

Content warnings: Graphic violence, torture, sexual violence, abuse, substance use, and sexual content. (Worth noting that most of it is not very detailed/viscerally shocking because of the format described above).

If this sounds interesting and you’re fine with reading in this format, feel free to comment or message me. I can send small sections, larger sections, or the whole project, whatever you want.