Food is loukoumades (honey donut balls).

I (24F) am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (23M). We dated in person for 2 months before I had to move back home, on the other side of the world, and we’ve now been long distance for a year.

Things are overall great. We text, call and watch shows together every week.

But there is one thing that happened that I can’t completely shake.

Six months ago, even though I thought everything was going fine, he sent me a 19-minute voice message bashing me. 19 WHOLE minutes. I listened to someone I thought was the sweetest, kindest person ever tear me apart. He said he was fed up with this relationship “or whatever the fuck this is”, called me manipulative, that I have “elementary school level communication skills”, what I say is “an absolute joke”, that I “apologize constantly but never actually change”… the list goes on. The ones that hurt the most were that I “make it as hard as *humanly* possible to be loved” and he wouldn’t even want to be friends with a person like me. It wasn’t an angry rant, either. He was saying it in a calm and cold way.

I was completely floored. It felt like he stabbed me in the heart with a knife, out of the blue. I had never been bashed so cruelly in my entire life before, let alone for 19 minutes straight, and from him of all people. I felt like I was listening to a completely different person than the guy I thought I knew.

He bashed me for falling asleep during our calls sometimes, even though we have a huge time zone difference and I’m exhausted after work. I’d apologize in the morning, and he’d always say it’s all good (well, apparently it wasn’t).

Anyway, I sobbed afterward and told him that since he really thought so little of me, we should just end things now. He immediately apologized profusely and reassured me that he loved me and nothing would ever change that. I was so hurt, but relieved, and accepted his apology.

It was an isolated incident. He is normally very kind and loving. I don’t want to break up over it because people are flawed and say things they regret. But I can’t see him the same way anymore.

Six months later, his comments still hit me sometimes. I get sad and annoyed. Part of me thinks I should bring it up to him, but how? It’s been so long now that it feels weird.

My boyfriend said some things that changed how I see him