I’m (30F) exhausted by a guy (31M) who constantly messes with/teases me

I (30F) have this guy in my friend group (31M) who I’ve had a complicated dynamic with for a while. I used to have a crush on him, but I want to make this very clear: I genuinely don't want him romantically anymore. I'm not secretly waiting for him to ask me out, hoping he'll choose me, or trying to figure out how to get him to like me.

I've actually reached the point where I can separate attraction from compatibility. He's funny, attractive, and we have great banter, and I can understand why I was initially drawn to him. But when I look at him as an actual potential partner, I don't think we're compatible and I don't want a relationship with him. That part feels very clear to me now.

What's confusing is that he still seems to single me out constantly.

He teases me way more than he teases other people. He'll make jokes about excluding me from plans, say things like “you're not invited,” deliberately provoke me, and generally seem to enjoy getting a reaction out of me. Sometimes he's actually pretty mean. There's one personal topic I've specifically asked him several times not to joke about, and he still brings it up.

At the same time, there are moments that make the dynamic feel more significant than ordinary friendship. He noticed when I was gone from the gym for two weeks and, when I came back, gave me a big hug and said he thought I wasn't coming back. He's also made sexual comments toward me in the past and asked me directly about things like sleeping together/nudes..

There was also a situation where I repeatedly asked him to run with me. Eventually he invited me to run at 10:30pm. I couldn't go that night because I needed to sleep and pack for a trip, so I declined and explained why. He never asked again.

I realize I technically said no to that particular invitation, but emotionally it hit me really hard because I'd spent so long wanting him to make an effort. I felt like I had been begging for his attention, and when he finally gave me some, it felt like a huge deal. Looking back, I really don't want to ever feel that small over someone's attention again.

The reason I've become particularly resentful is that I've watched him do something similar with other women. He'll flirt heavily, sometimes sexually, and then when the woman actually starts reciprocating or makes things concrete, he backs off. One woman at the gym apparently called him out for flirting with her and then refusing to go for a drink, and he apologized. Another friend of mine had a lot of sexual flirting with him, eventually told him to come over, and he never followed through. Meanwhile, he repeatedly describes himself as “a nice guy,” which honestly makes me roll my eyes at this point.

But here's the part I'm most curious about: I don't think I like him anymore, and I don't want him to become my boyfriend. I actually feel like I'm emotionally detaching from the whole thing. I'm more interested in what happens when I stop giving this dynamic the emotional energy I used to give it. Because I think a lot of his teasing has been fuelled by my reactions. I used to get annoyed, defensive, flustered, or try to figure out what he meant. Now I'm increasingly at the point of thinking, “Okay, whatever.”

So I'm curious about something more general: when a guy is used to getting a strong reaction from a woman he constantly teases/provokes, what tends to happen when she genuinely stops caring and stops feeding the dynamic? Does the teasing usually die down? Does the guy sometimes escalate because he's losing the reaction? Does the relationship become more normal? I'm curious about the psychology of the dynamic and whether my change in attitude is likely to change the way he interacts with me.

TLDR: I (30F) used to have a crush on a guy at my gym (31M), but I genuinely don't want him romantically anymore. He's constantly teased/provoked me, often excludes me jokingly, and seems to get a lot of entertainment from my reactions. I've also watched him heavily flirt with other women and then back away when they reciprocate. I'm no longer trying to figure out whether he likes me — I'm curious what happens when someone who is used to getting a strong reaction from you realizes you genuinely don't care anymore. Does the teasing usually stop, escalate, or stay the same?