I hope he's doing ok

I miss him so much, once I finish 5 more orders I'll go back to my parents switch cars then go home and run then some squats. Afterwards depending if my man texted me or called me, I'll decide what to do.

At times like these I really only have myself to blame for the type of people that I like.

This guy has shunned out his emotions, he doesn't believe that showing emotion is necessary he told me recently that he wants to be more stoic.

The funny thing is I'm the complete opposite, I'm super sensitive specifically towards people I care about and especially in a relationship.

I know that I obviously would love more affection and more comfort, someone to give it to me completely but knowing myself that wouldn't be a good idea.

So genuinely I feel that this is the way to a good relationship, one with him, with someone that, and when I say someone I mean my man obviously, someone that doesn't deal with bullshit, someone who prioritizes themselves first, someone who is more mature, someone who is more aggressive, and so on.

If not, I probably end up fucking up the person I'm with mentally.

He keeps me more sane and if I got everything I wanted, let me just tell you shit would go south quickly.

I see this as a blessing in disguise, I have to get used to how he is how he doesn't sugarcoat anything how he says it like it is, no matter if it's mean.

I love him a lot, I respect him a lot, he's gone through so much stuff.

I just have to build resilience and not be such a pussy bitch.

That being said, I need to find a way to cut without him noticing.

I'm glad it's getting a little chilly here where I live so that could give me the perfect excuse