my ocd is embarrassing

i make myself do the weirdest stuff. when i listen to music, the first song i listen to i have to hold my breath for 3 seconds, i usually do it for 10 seconds to make sure. If i don't do it, i feel like something bad would happen. I used to be on discord and I was apart of a very popular server that is active a lot. Every minute at least 5 people would say hi and I forced myself to say hi to every single person, no matter how long I stayed in the chat because i believe if i don't, they will off themselves. Like they are having a hard day and someone ignoring them is like their last straw. If I missed a message where someone said hi I would look for it and reply to it, even if it's old😭

Before I text anyone I make sure with my mother if what im going to send is okay, im very scared of offending someone. If i have a conversation with someone, I can't stop thinking about it the whole day until I go to my mother and ask her if I was awkward or if I said something wrong.

If im scrolling through tiktok and I see a video that is stitched and the video is debating the other person, I don't like it because if I see any video where anyone could have their feelings hurt in the slightest I don't like it because I'll think they will again leave earth if they saw it. If I see a positive video, hopecore video to something I am not even dealing with I force myself to like it and interact the best I can so it can hopefully boost the video and reach someone who is struggling with it, if I don't I again think something bad will happen.

I force my entire family to say god forbid when something bad is brought up, they probably hate me so much for it and I get annoyed when they don't say it. I hold my breath a lot during the day too. I have so many more weird stuff I do but im scared people notice my weird stuff. I wanted to post on the ocd sub but it aint letting me. i dont know how to make this a bit better