Only Enter the Pool in an Authorized Manner

One must always enter the pool via an authorized means; Adam Straycorn knew that now, but he didn’t then.

He visited the municipal pool on a hot summer day, that was perfectly alright. Pools exist for a reason. He arrived through the appropriate entrance and flashed his city employee pass. Adam was the Acting Fire Chief, the pass was legitimate.

His downfall was walking right by the pool ladder and sliding in over the edge. Maybe he thought he could do whatever he wanted because he was so handsome? We may never know.

The lifeguard saw it but was too late. She blew her whistle for good measure.

“Sir, next time please use the ladder.”

“You got it. Sorry about that.”

The lifeguard noted the incident in her daily events log.

1332: Fire Chief Straycorn entered the pool in an UNAUTHORIZED MANNER.

It was Saturday, the end of the week in some parts of the world, so the report went into a folder with the others from that week.

On Monday morning Jake Allen, the County Public Works Director, went about his normal Monday morning business; mostly chatting about sporting events that he did not participate in. He did a bit of actual work though, he reviewed the reports from various municipal activities. Jake flipped through them, just a quick scan until the capitalized UNAUTHORIZED MANNER made him stop dead in his tracks.

“I need to speak with Mayor Budinski right away,” Jake’s voice quivered as he held the phone in his sweaty hand.

Within the hour the very same report was in Walter “Walt” Budinski’s hands.

“Whattaya reckon we do with this information, Tom?” The mayor asked his friend, who he always hired for city business.

R. Thomas Sandoval, who was a personal injury attorney, looked at the report entry in question.

“I’ll have to look into it.” he said, the gravity of the situation having eluded him.

The pair heard footsteps and looked to the door. They didn’t see anyone yet though Sheriff James “Big Jim” Mallorn had entered the mayor’s office, but he was only sixty-two inches tall and was concealed by a moderately-sized fern.

“What’s going on at the pool?” Big Jim asked.

Walt and Thomas jumped, a voice from behind a fern was unsettling.

“Sheriff Mallorn?” Thomas was much more formal than Walt.

“Yeah!”

Maybe the fern was bigger than the Sheriff estimated.

“Well come on in!” Walt insisted.

The man in gray, law enforcement in Persepolis County wore gray uniforms… they were cheaper than blue ones, turned the corner around the fern to present himself.

“Well, what’s the problem at the pool?”

Walt gravely turned the report around and slid it to the end of his desk for Big Jim to see for himself.

“Unauthorized manner?!”

Walt nodded.

“Chief Straycorn?!”

Walt nodded some more, or s’more, as he would say. Sheriff Mallorn’s eyes were wide, he was genuinely shocked. He and Walt were sharing the same brainwave on the manner.

“Tom here’s got to check into the matter, but I thought it was important for you to know.”

“I’ll put extra patrols on the pool… and the fire station.”

Walt nodded and urgently dismissed the two men for the time being.

Thomas tasked his secretary with researching case law related to pool entry. She assumed it was a personal injury case and didn’t question the matter. Sheriff Mallorn drove by the fire department real slow… he didn’t observe any law breaking, this time.

The trio, identified as the investigatory committee in Walt’s diary, reassembled later in the day.

“Did we find anything?”

“Nothing at the fire station. The trucks were all real clean. Have you ever seen a dirty fire truck?”

“That is suspicious” Walt noted.

“Very suspicious” agreed the Sheriff.

Thomas cleared his throat. That diverted Walt’s attention towards himself.

“Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Manual for the Orderly Administration of Public Swimming and Revolutionary Aquatic Recreation, 1987 revision.” Thomas informed the Mayor.

“And?” Walt inquired.

“Section fourteen. Citizens shall enter communal swimming waters only by the ladder, steps, or other means designated by the responsible attendant. Improvised entry demonstrates individualistic disregard for collective aquatic order*.*”

Walt’s eyes narrowed. “That’s exactly what he did.”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“What’s the punishment?”

Thomas turned the page.

“Self-criticism.”

Walt leaned back. “Reasonable.”

Sheriff Mallorn nodded in agreement, a second away from grabbing his radio to disseminate the order.

Thomas studied him. “Walt… it’s unenforceable outside of North Korea.”

Walt responded after a long moment of contemplation. “He’s got a good point, Jim. Can we charge people with North Korean crimes?”

Sheriff Mallorn looked at Thomas, a personal injury attorney, for an answer.

“No! No, we can’t.”

“Welp, guess that settles the matter.”

Adam was outside the station washing a fire truck when the letter arrived. A letter being delivered to the station was unusual to Adam, they typically just got giant catalogs featuring gear the County couldn’t afford, and even more unusual it was addressed to him.

Chief Straycorn,

This letter serves as your notice that you have been cleared of wrongdoing regarding the incident that took place at the municipal pool. Please strongly consider only entering the municipal pool in an authorized manner during future visits.

It was signed by Mayor Budinski, with a post-script identifying himself as Chairperson of the Investigatory Committee.

Adam had no clue that his actions were under review but put the letter into the envelope and kept it safe in his pocket, in case he needed it later.

Light from the setting sun made a rainbow in the spray of the hose, it reminded Adam of when he was a young firefighter; those were simpler times.