Nontraditional post, late 40s former surgeon looking to find a path back to contentment. Anyone find a way out of depression, or pivoted from medicine to something that made them better?

I hope I’m not too old for this group.

I had a mostly normal life, until my partner had a psychological crisis. Wife and daughter deceased now.

I got really depressed and eventually just stopped working. The past few years of my life I’ve just been trying to get out of the depression.

I’ve gone backwards in life, I don’t really trust myself, even as a surgeon anymore. I used to teach, I was very involved and social.

I’m in therapy and I’ve been in therapy. I’ve been on every med class known to man.

I’m wondering if there’s another path. Anyone pivot from medicine? I’m not looking to be who I used to be before. Just a settled life with less pain would be fine. Something to distract enough.

I’m wondering if there might be something that’s stimulating enough to get me excited enough and distract enough. I think any pivot might be difficult due to the effort required.

it’s so hard to pursue anything new. I basically just eat, sleep, therapy, attempt stuff.

I’m perfectly healthy physically. I imagine the exhaustion is the depression. Labs are all clean. Imaging all clean.

For background:
Microbiology and education for bachelors.
MD/JD
In a bad financial place now. I’ve spent all of it on trying to fix the depression. I think if I can get some energy back, it won’t be a big deal. But right now I just can’t function. I’ll go days without eating because it’s too much work.

Any ideas welcome and appreciated. Thank you