Do I text him

HEAR ME OUT! Because normally the answer is no. And I’ve been battling this feeling for what feels like months.

I’m caught up in this guy I never dated but really liked. And I know he liked me too.
If he still likes me is the question.

I got close to this guy and he’s been on my mind now on and off for months. I know he’ll never text me first. I just know it. But I’m thinking do I try.

The last time I made a post like this I got some good advice in “evidence based dating” and it did help me shift my perspective. But I’m back at square one with just wanting to try.

For context I (F30) have only ever been on one long term relationship. Him (M29) has been in a long term relationship, has had a few partners before his ex too.

We got really close a while back and I still think about him. I’ve not had the courage to text him because he’s left me on read for an embarrassing amount of time.

And at first I let it go. I said he’s not the one from me, I don’t want to be disrespected like this, fu*k him and il do better.

But I cannot get him out of my mind. Maybe I’m still looking for answers, maybe it’s limerence, maybe I’m just stupid. I don’t know.

But something in me wants to try. One final time. And if I don’t hear back then I know for the final time. That I should not do this.

And I hate it. I battle this “have more self respect” and “you only live once fu*k it just try” mentally all the time.

I love myself. And I respect myself enough to have stayed away. I’ve let the evidence do the talking.

Tell me WHY I can’t shake this feeling of just wanting to try.

I know he’s single. I know the phone works both ways. I know I could be making a fool of myself or facing another form of rejection again.
And I hate that despite all of this I still want to try.

Why can’t I be the missed not always the person missing. Why can’t men just be honest with how they feel instead of thinking being left on read is the way to do it.

I’m going to draft a text but I won’t send it.
I want it to be short and simple. Like “Hey, it’s been a while. Thinking of you, hope you’re doing well”

I’ve stopped myself in the past before. But I just want some more help from people who don’t know me or him.. or the full story.

It might not make a difference texting him. I could just be a fool once again. I’m such a heart on my sleeve type of woman. I wish I could just let him go. And the biggest part of me wants to do it and text him but idk. I want to but I know it’s “wrong”.

What do I do.
You’re sincerely

A hopeless romantic who misses someone who probably doesn’t miss them back 🥲