I found out about my ex-best friend's truth and it hurts.

So I met this guy in college freshman year (lets call him Jared for this post, no offense to anyone called Jared btw), we had a laugh over how we had the same name and over the 1st semester we became best friends, we clicked super well. He found a girlfriend within 2 months and I was happy for him, it didn't affect our friendship either so it was cool, and he seemed happy so I was glad. Remember her because she's very important to this all.

Few semesters later I got a girlfriend too, I'd say she was my first love. We were great together, but we were so busy in our lives that we barely had time for each other, and by the time she told me how alone she felt sometimes and then I said how alone I felt sometimes too without her, it was too late and we broke up, on good terms. I still have a soft spot for her in my heart and I know she's gonna do great things in her life, just not with me there by her side.

This breakup happened primarily due to the fact that I was unable to manage everyone's needs in my life. My parents said I spent too much time in college, my friends said I spent too little time with them, which was true but it was because I barely had time for myself, to even do assignments and all. I was busy either at home taking care of things there, my little brother, or studying and trying to do well in school.

Anyways, after the breakup I met up with Jared wayyy more, hung out with him, played videogames and went out to eat and do stupid shit so it was nice. I thought I was healing but I was wrong.

Around 6 months after the breakup I got sick. Turns out I have Crohns, and with all the stress I had taken over the last few months I had a flare up, ending with me being rushed to the ER 3 days after my birthday for surgery in which I almost died. Then another cause the first one wasn't effective. My best friend knew I was sick, but then after the first surgery he stopped messaging me. Ghosted me. I was in no condition to try to find him being in an hospital bed and then at home with an IV stuck in my arm for a month, weak as hell. I lost 30 kgs due to the illness and was weak as ever, I expected at least him to show up for me but he didn't. I moved on.

Now I'm healthier, regained weight and back in the gym and going to college full time again. I met with some other friends and they were ecstatic to see me recovered. We meet almost everyday and have lunch and hang out, one of them who graduated even came back for a day to see me yesterday, it was awesome. It showed me that I should've done better choosing my friends.

Now, the truth part. I always wondered why Jared disappeared out of my life. I noticed before getting sick that he was putting on weight like crazy. I told him we should gym together, but he always refused. I felt he was depressed (I was one of his only friends) and I tried to do good towards him but he didn't care for it, I think.

Few days ago I messaged his GF to see if she knew where he was. Surprisingly she responded. She said that last they spoke was 6 months ago, and that he told her that his parents won't pay his tuition anymore so he was prob going back to his home country. I thought he was embarrassed to tell me that so I left it there. I thanked her for letting me know and that was it.

Until, about 3 days ago, I saw the guy on campus. FAT. I'm sorry, but like really bad shape. He saw me too and looked, and left. I was in shock, and one of my friends who was sitting with me told me that he had seen him a few times this semester. I was so lost. Confused and pissed that he was around but didn't reach out to me. He knew how weak I was and how I needed someone other than my parents with me but he didn't come.

I messaged his GF again. I told her that I didn't know if she was misleading me about him or what but I saw him. She responded saying she didn't care and that they had broken up way back.

NOW COMES THE PART THAT BLEW ME AWAY. She said that what I knew about her was a lie. Jared told me they met on campus, and that she moved after a sem to go to NYC for college. WRONG. She told me she had only graduated college 2 years ago, and that she was 16 and they met online.

Yea he was 18 or 19 and she was 16. Didn't even go to the same college. Hell she was in HS.

He lied to me about her and now I don't even know if our friendship was real. My gut tells me he has some secrets he never shared, and I feel like I was so blind to all this. I sit with my current friends and realize how I am not any of their first choices. Jared was my best friend, to me he was but I don't think I was ever that to him.

I graduate in a semester. Jared is a fucking creep and a shit friend, he took advantage of the fact that his GF had anxiety and felt lonely, and I was friends with a guy like that. I feel disgusting being his friend, and sad that I didn't choose someone better.

I'm lookjng for advice as how to deal with this loss. Anything would be appreciated. Thanks a bunch!