Finding a will to live, like actually?

I feel very detached from the idea of living lately. Like it’s something I do because I can’t be bothered to stop, but I’m plagued with the idea that if I’m going to end someday anyways, why not right now on my own terms?

There’s no career that I have any drive for anymore.
I feel lonely while simultaneously having absolutely no energy to maintain friendships.
I feel as far as job/lifestyle/income is concerned, I’m stagnant with no way to move up and improve.
I’m terrified of passing, like the process and how it could happen (e.i. What if I’m violently murdered? What if I pass in some horrid awful way and regret not doing it on my own terms in my final moments?)

I want very little in life, and that makes me feel weird about living lately, like there’s no point and I can’t give myself a valid reason to live.

My PERFECT life would be a lowkey chill job
House that I own
Four to five cats
Two good friends

I can’t really change jobs right now
I will never have a house
No house means no four to five cats
I’m too tired for friends.

So how could I find a will to live genuinely