has anyone seen positive results if you've been depressed/suicidal your whole life?

I've been suicidal since around 6 or so (or at least that's my first memory of being suicidal), more actively and daily suicidal since 11. In my late 20s now. I have 2.5 or 3 weeks left of TMS and so far feel no different.

Has anyone with this kind of history found relief through TMS?

I don't really have an idea of what a non-depressed me is even like since it has been essentially my entire life.

Thank you for any info you can give me, just want to know if there's any hope in a case like this (I have tried 30+ meds and 13 years of therapy)