Fiancé says she doesn’t trust me one month before we’re supposed to be married

It’s a month before our wedding and my fiancé started fighting with me. Telling me she wasn’t sure why I’m even trying for a career. I’m getting paid to get my masters right after my bachelors.

Over the last 4 years I’ve tried to reinvent myself. Do the right thing. Get a part time job, work on my mental health, pick a new career field. I left policing behind after a toxic job went south. So I decided to go back to school. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do so I finished my general education courses and started researching. No matter what career I found, I figured I either couldn’t handle it or it wouldn’t pay. She suggested that I get into mental health because I’d be good at it and it’s a lucrative field. I agreed and applied to the program and got in.

I have PTSD and I’m not stoked about my new career but it’s the most lucrative one I could naturally get into. She tells me that I shouldn’t get a degree that I’m not passionate about. Tells me she doesn’t mind paying all the bills as long as I’m working. She’s got a lucrative job with the state. The truth is, I’m not passionate about working. I have a condition and it’s made functioning harder and harder. I’m only 33 but fuck my body doesn’t feel functional some days. That’s not because my health is bad, I’m very healthy, low BMI, Eat right, sleep right, exercise, etc. It’s just a nervous system issue that makes my entire body feel like it’s going to fall apart. Even though I’m perfectly healthy.

Anyway. I push her a bit and tell her I need her to explain why she doesn’t support me in my new career suddenly. Since we’ve been going through this together for the last 3 years. She just tells me that she doesn’t know what I want from her. “You’re not happy so you shouldn’t do it.” Except that doesn’t pay bills and that’s not what a mature man does. She says she’ll take care of the money and that I shouldn’t worry about money especially because I have a lot of money saved myself from the military along with an inheritance. I don’t want to say how much because I don’t want this to be about that. Just know I’ll be fine money wise but I still believe in having a career. Even for my own self respect. I call bullshit that she doesn’t care about money and doesn’t mind me working a gas station job.

Finally she starts to cry and tells me she’s overwhelmed. Then when she gets herself together and I apologize several times. She just tells me she doesn’t trust that I can take care of anything.

I ask her why she thinks that. She says it’s because of my erratic schedule since I’m working part time and in school and struggling each day. She doesn’t feel like I’ll ever be able to handle having kids. Because of my PTSD, she feels like I’ll always just need help coping and that she’ll be stuck doing all the work. When that’s never been the case. I was the one who cleaned her mothers house when she couldn’t because her mother doesn’t like to clean up. I was the one who moved us into our apartment and got all the furniture in there. I was the one who made sure the apartment was cleaned up and paid for.

I have always made sure that I have done what needed to be done despite my condition. I go to school, I work, I clean up, I do these things everyday. I’m now starting an internship on top of it all. I’ve never made excuses for my condition and always taken care of my shit. Despite now needing medication to get the help I need to cope because my symptoms have started to become much worse. I have never used my condition as an excuse not to do what needed to be done. It’s just harder for me is all.

She also doesn’t like that I play video games for long hours. Except I only do that when everything is done. I have a 3.7 GPA, I have a good relationship with my boss, I have a clean home at all times, I make sure to save my money and stay present for my partner.

Now she says we need a marriage counselor because she can’t trust that I’ll take care of our kids and it’ll be left to her to do. Completely left field. She’s never been given the impression that she will have to do everything.

I always pull my weight, always. I pride myself on being independent and hard working and refuse to let a woman to have to clean up after me or have to take care of me. In fact I’m the one who cleans up after her constantly and go out of my way to shop for her and never complain. Everything else I do myself, I never ask her for anything.

Now suddenly it’s “You’re 33, you shouldn’t be playing games.” And “I don’t trust that you’ll do what needs to be done.”

I’m at a loss. Do I just call the wedding off? I love this woman and I’m completely taken aback. Up until now I didn’t think we had any problems. Now she’s telling me she has all these concerns suddenly. One month before we’re supposed to be married. Almost 5 years dating.

I’m just so hurt and need advice. Where do I go from here? She’s my best friend and now suddenly it feels like she’s just switched up on me. My biggest fear actually. I’ve done all these things to do right by her and now I just feel so betrayed. Feels like all the work I’ve done to get to this point just doesn’t mean anything. Just hurts.