I am jealous of people with diagnosed mental health issues

[REPOST bc original post got taken down]

The title may sound like I am attention-seeking, but it's how I really feel, and I've been holding onto this for so long. I don't wanna make this too long, but I might leave out some details. Some background about me: I am 19F and from a country where mental health is kinda overlooked, especially by the older generation. I have also been suspecting that I may have mental health issues of my own too since I was a kid, specifically ADHD. I have been noticing my symptoms starting from early childhood, and it seems to line up with the majority of the known symptoms. I have spoken to my parents about it twice when I was young (I didn't talk about suspecting I have this disorder, more so about how I seem to have trouble focusing and struggle to sleep at night for no apparent reason), and they dismissed it as my lack of sleep. I also understand how ADHD can be harder to spot in females, so... I am still undiagnosed as of now.

About my jealousy, this all pretty much started with my younger cousin, who has been diagnosed with autism since she was an infant or toddler, I think(?), and she got all the support she needed. What I have noticed is how adults treat her differently compared to me, and pretty much let her do anything, meanwhile, I'd be scolded harshly if I were to do the same things as her and be labled a bad kid. I am not trying to minimize her autism, as I am aware of how hard it must feel to deal with it, but it honestly hurts because hers was spotted early on and adults learned to adapt to her.

As I got older, this jealousy isn't just towards her anymore but towards anyone who got the opportunity to get diagnosed, bonus if they're Filipino like me. It's stupid, but I feel upset about it because they were heard and not dismissed like me. I am left to basically mask my problems and struggles while they got the help they needed not only from professionals, but also emotional support from family and friends.

Honestly, a diagnosis is all I really want right now, as it not only provides me with the support I so desperately needed, but also a sense of closure. And yes, I guess I do want the attention, but it's more about my need for me to feel validated and heard, and it can be a bit nerve-wracking to talk about this, considering we live in an age where, for some reason, people want to fake mental health issues.