M20. Feeling really really low. Rock bottom

Every time I think I have in under control. Then I blow my whole bank account because I get greedy. Could’ve stopped so many times. I hate myself. Lost around 1.5k in a few hours betting on table tennis. Fuck my life.

Only got $88 to my name. Should have well over 10,000 to my name but it’s all gone. Pay day is in 2 days. I already know the temptation to make some back will be so overwhelming.

This has been my life on and off for 2 years. Idk kinda losing hope a little. This life is miserable