Feeling vindicated yet so angry

My husband finally saw how his drinking was making his life around him fall apart. The other night he tried, on his own and without giving me the heads up, that he was going to go cold turkey. Less than 12 hours after he started he opened up to me about his choice because his withdrawal symptoms were getting scary. We ended up taking him to the ER to help him through some of his severe tremors and we contacted a rehab to get him in for detox. I knew it was bad, I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten. Every time I brought it up he would gaslight me into thinking I was making a huge deal out of nothing.

He has been at detox for almost 24 hours and I feel so vindicated that I was right this whole time. I knew it was getting out of control, I knew he couldn’t pace himself or trust that he could go without drinking. I’ve been noticing and seeing his trends for over a decade now, but he wouldn’t drink during the day. He wouldn’t drink more than two beers in front of our kids. It was always an excuse that he didn’t sleep well, he hadn’t eaten much today, or his anxiety was bad so that’s why his attitude was bad. I knew deep down he wasn’t okay and I tried so fucking hard to get him to see that. Now that it has come to the point where he close to losing his job, which he was hiding from me, I’m proud that he has finally admitted to himself how far gone is become.

The feeling of validation makes me realize how much I pay attention and notice the small things. I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t blowing it out of proportion, but fuck! I am so angry and depressed that it took so long for him to see it and want to change. Why didn’t he trust me? Why did he fight it? Why is he so goddamn stubborn?? So far I have been correct in every aspect of his health and that he needs to change or get seen by a doctor. I noticed that he was behaving strangely and getting worse and more angry in 2016-2019. I noticed he was having neurological episodes that we later found out were absentee seizures. I looked up and researched everything and begged him to get seen and check. I swore that he had a brain tumor that was on his pituitary gland and I wanted to get him seen so we could figure it out. He refused and had a grand mal that led to a CT scan showing a fist sized tumor in his brain that was crushing his pituitary gland.

Then I told him he needed a therapist to help with the adjustment of post brain tumor. He refused saying it will be fine. That led him to drinking more and more and when I voiced worry about that, it got brushed off. How many times do I need to prove to him that I know what I’m talking about?? Why does it take him to hit almost rock bottom to go oh you were right??

I’m so angry at him….but I’m so proud of him for the work he is now doing. I’m so conflicted with all these emotions and I’m worried that I will hold a grudge against him for the years he ignored me and my opinion.