Do people actually party to heal, or just to avoid feeling anything?

I’ve been wondering if anyone else has gone through this.

After a breakup or a rough phase, you start partying more. You go to clubs, stay out until morning, drink, get high, surround yourself with people, girls, music, noise, and for a few hours you genuinely feel like, “fuck it, I’m fine.”

You feel wanted, distracted and completely disconnected from whatever is going on in your head.

But then morning comes.

You’re exhausted, everything is quiet, and suddenly all the feelings you were running from are still there. Sometimes even worse because now you’re tired and alone with your thoughts again.

At some point I started wondering whether I was actually enjoying partying or just using it as a way to not feel anything.