Losing my mom at 24

My mom was the best mother in the world. If I could choose one word it would be selfless. She always wanted the best for me no doubt about it and I know that she loved me so much. Since I could remember my mom struggled with alcohol abuse. THEN she stopped cold turkey for 10 years. The most amazing time of my life, I got my mom back I was abt 15 and I finally felt peace. Before this I was always wanting to be with my mom so I could watch her and make sure nothing would happen to her but I was a child. Starting Dec of 2025 after 10 years my mom relapsed on Christmas Eve. I went looking for her because no one could get in touch with her and seen her drunk at home. She blamed stress and not having help around the house. So I did a full 360 I was more caring more gentle more loving and helpful to my mother which I agreed that I definitely could have been before. Since that time she relapse she’d be good for months go back to it and so on. In the middle of all that I would take her to the hospital when she felt the withdrawal symptoms I would try to help her. Throughout this my bf would stay with me all the time either with me and my moms or I would stay with him at his place not bc of the situation but bc we were in a relationship and he wanted to be there. I planned to move out to my bf apt when I was able to get a car and I was scared to tell my mom and after to actually do it bc I didn’t want her to drink bc of me. But this kept going on and I told her I was going to move fwd with it. And in the middle of another relapse I did exactly that. I would still come on days me and my bf after I already moved out to sleep at my moms so I would be close but then she went deep into alcoholism and I stopped sleeping there. I would come after school or work almost everyday and check on her and leave and I would text and try to call her everyday . I’m a nursing student and I also work 3 days a week 12 hr shifts so I’m so busy. I told her the reason I stopped staying there was bc I couldn’t help her and it stresses me out to see her like this. I would come visit her and she would have a bruise on her forehead or her jaw from falling. She started to urinate and poop all over herself and the house. She wasn’t eating I would ask her if I could bring her something and she would say no I would leave her soup sometimes and she wouldn’t eat it. The day before she died she told me she though she was having a heart attack bc she felt sweaty and couldn’t catch her breathe. I told her if she wanted to go to the hospital she said no. Mind u 2 weeks before I called the ambulance on her bc she looked horrible and I was worried so she went and then she left and signed herself out without treatment. Yesterday I couldn’t get I. Touch with her and my heart sank I took a break from work and went to go check on her and found her body on the floor. I found in her searches she was looking up at 3-5am that her hands and arms were numb. I found her with her jacket on and a fresh bottle of vodka in her pocket like she just came back from getting it. I feel heartbroken and wonder what I could’ve done different.