Wondering about kms

I have been in bad mood. I bpd I am very sensitive. So I was not good and my parent wanted to know why. He eas very disappointed and started yelling on how I do get upset about anything and well I am sensitive but I dont get upset about everything.

He is said that I dont listen, but I tried to listen. And he always hate when I speak. No matter if I am polite.

I know one thing the thing that is making me calm was to read articles about suicide epidemiology and stuff.

I cant atop think about I should be dead or how to kms