Needing space from my girlfriend (20F) to work on myself (20M)

Hey all,

I've been thinking about posting here for a while to talk about my relationship and the situation I'm in. I'm 20, and I've been with my girlfriend for about six months. I'm in college in a pilot program, which is extremely time-consuming in and of itself, and I also work in my family's business, which keeps me very busy.

When we first started dating, I explained that there would be periods when I'd need to prioritize both my job and my training/studying for my future career. She was understanding at first. I told her that just because I'd be prioritizing myself at times didn't mean I didn't care about her, and I still tell her that.

The problems started showing this summer, when I noticed she was becoming increasingly dependent on me. She couldn't go on family vacations without having constant panic attacks, or without accusing me of not wanting to talk to her when I'd simply tell her to "enjoy your family time, I'll be here when you get back." On top of that, whenever I went to work and couldn't text for more than an hour or two, she'd take it as me ghosting her and accuse me of "hating her."

I'm at the point where I don't think this relationship is sustainable. It's not even necessarily because I'm too busy for her. It's because she's unable (or at least unwilling) to function without constant reassurance and without knowing where I am and what I'm doing.

I'd really appreciate advice on how to handle this. Is there a realistic way to set boundaries around my schedule that might actually stick, given I've already tried talking it through several times? And if ending it is the better path, how do I do that kindly, knowing she's likely to take it very hard?

TL;DR: I (20M) have been with my girlfriend for about six months, and between flight school and my family's business I'm often busy. She's become very dependent, with panic attacks when she's away and accusations that I hate her when I can't text for an hour or two at work. Talking about it hasn't helped. Looking for advice on setting boundaries that stick, or how to end things kindly if that's the better option.

P.S: I will elaborate or answer questions in the comments if I see them. I don’t check outside of once or twice a day, but i’ll make an effort to answer anything I see now that I have made a post.