Does the guilt ever go away?

I was raped by my ex boyfriend about 8 years ago. I punished myself after being raped by becoming hyper sexual. Until this past Friday I probably haven’t had sex in a year or two. The sex on Friday was consensual, it was ok, but I could “hear” my ex’s voice in my head telling me everything he said to me during the rape. Which spoiled the mood for me. I’m a single, adult woman in her 30s and I know it’s perfectly fine to have no strings attached sex, but I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself for wanting to have “normal,” good sex.