I 27M and 24F are discussing moving from DC to NYC

Moving to NYC from DC as a federal employee

I have a very serious long term girlfriend who more than likely if things continue will be my wife, and we visited Manhattan for three days and my gf wants to move there in roughly a year. I understand living there is different than visiting, I also believe if she had more time to vacation in the city and saw more she may have second thoughts, tale as old as time. I plan to bring her in the winter time to see if she is serious about this or just hyped up, I can’t tell because of mixed signals described below.

I do trust her judgement but I am often left confused about this whole NYC thing. She was on the fence about going on the trip and now is infatuated with Manhattan. Yes, it was a cool place and I would not mind living there at all, but the timeline feels rushed.

LONG TERM BACKGROUND:

The long term goal is to move to CA which is a lot easier if I stay put for 2-3 years promote and move to CA once a spot opens up for my work as a federal employee.

Now we are adding living in NYC for a year or two into the mix.

She also brings up that I need to buy a house in our current area on a 158k salary, which is possible here but takes time. So idk if she wants to even move to NYC or if it is just a secondary goal to look forward to. This time last year I was making 80k and finally am in the + after paying 55k for a car and student loans, clearing all debt. Relevant also she owns a condo here that is basically an extra home for us. I’ve brought up that it makes more sense for us just to live there and have me save up the 3k in rent I’m currently paying, but I guess the concept feels wrong to her?

If it wasn’t obvious at this point her family helped her get her job and buy her first house, From there she has been very successful at her job as a mortgage loan officer and she used that success to buy a second house and she just sold her first house for a 50-100k in profit, I’m not sure on the specifics after deductions. This is a huge accomplishment for anyone that is under 25 and not a realistic expectation for most. It is great that her family helped her and she is successful, but her optimism about NYC is flavored by this background and it is worth noting.

CURRENT JOB AND FUTURE JOB?

I am a late 20s GS-13 who will likely be a 14 or even 15 by the time I am 30. I work in Government Relations essentially and will be set if I continue the course. My income if I was transferred to NYC is 163k if I were to find a GS-13 job in my field here, I’ve seen about 5-10 in 2 years.

She told me to get into “finance” but did not have any details about how, she works as a mortgage loan officer so she has a better idea than me but that is like comparing apples to oranges.

If I found a private sector job I would be at the whims of that employment, versus the very stable job I have with a clear path to promotion at a very young age. That is why waiting for a gov job makes more sense to me unless a crazy offer falls into my lap.

CONCLUSION tldr

I am unsure how to approach this I would like to live in NYC but I also know my current situation is extremely rare and positive. Setting arbitrary deadlines is a recipe for disaster for most people but I am trying to see this from a balanced perspective, what would you do? I need to do more research and we need to visit more to see what is realistic. But what is the neutral take to this?