Why do they want this control

I don’t understand. I’m finally clearly CLEARLY seeing the abuse I have endured for years. I’ve been discarded and pulled back in countless times. I’ve been a victim of horrible abuse and also a victim of coercive control and manipulation. I have read and seen that they want “power and control” but I can’t begin to understand that. I just want a happy family with two beautiful children. I want to flourish and love and bring love. Why would someone desire power and control over that? I don’t understand.