name change after marriage

I’ve been married for about 5 years and recently finally dealt with changing my last name. I thought I had figured out the perfect compromise, but now that I’ve actually done it, I’m second-guessing everything.

I kept my maiden name after getting married, but after having our daughter, sharing a last name with her became much more important to me than I expected.

At the same time, I feel very attached to my maiden name. It’s the name I’ve had my entire life and the name I established my career under. It also has a lot of emotional significance because my brother / only sibling passed away, so giving up the last name we shared feels especially difficult.

I initially decided to legally use [Maiden Name] [Married Name] as two last names, without a hyphen. In theory, it seemed like the perfect solution: I keep my maiden name as an actual surname rather than moving it to a middle name, while also sharing my husband and daughter’s last name.

I went through with the Social Security name change and almost immediately started wondering if I made this way more complicated than it needed to be. I’m worried two last names will create headaches with forms, medical records, travel, professional licensing, etc., or that I’ll constantly have to explain that my maiden name isn’t my middle name.

So now I’m debating between:

• Two legal last names — feels the most true to both parts of my identity, but potentially annoying forever.
• Maiden name as a middle name + married name as my only last name — simpler and I share my daughter’s last name, but emotionally it feels a little like I’ve lost my maiden name.
• Go back to just my maiden name — feels the most like “me” and preserves my existing professional identity, but then I don’t share a surname with my husband or daughter.

I know there’s no objectively right answer, but I’d love to hear from people who have actually dealt with this.

If you have two last names without a hyphen, is it actually annoying in everyday life? If you moved your maiden name to your middle name, did it still feel like you kept that part of your identity? And if you kept your maiden name while your kids have your spouse’s name, did sharing a last name with your kids end up mattering to you?